Heather Fountain Hypnotherapy Clinical Hypnotherapist

23/12/2025

A really book, recommended to parents.

This is a book no parent ever hopes to need. One that even the author is probably sorry to have written. Because needing this book means you're living in a particular kind of heartbreak that doesn't get discussed at family gatherings or celebrated in graduation speeches. It means the child you loved into existence, the one you stayed up nights worrying over, the one you sacrificed for in a thousand small and large ways, has become someone whose life choices you can't understand, can't support, and can't seem to influence no matter how much love you pour into the trying.

Maybe they're struggling with addiction and refuse help. Maybe they've chosen a partner who hurts them and won't hear your concern. Maybe they've walked away from opportunities you worked years to provide. Maybe they've cut you out entirely and you lie awake wondering what you did to deserve the silence.

Or maybe it's something quieter but no less painful: they're just living a life that looks nothing like the one you dreamed for them, and you're grieving a future you thought you were all building together. And the loneliness of this is crushing because you can't talk about it without feeling judged, without people assuming you failed somehow, without facing the whispered question you ask yourself every single day: where did I go wrong?

Jane Adams' "When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us" exists for this quiet devastation. She's a sociologist who narrates her own audiobook, and you can hear in her voice that she knows this territory intimately. This isn't a book about fixing your adult children or getting them back on track. It's about sitting with you in the grief of watching someone you love make choices that terrify you, and learning the excruciating difference between loving them and saving them.

"When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us" sits with you in a pain that's often invisible to others but crushing to carry. Adams doesn't offer false hope or easy fixes. She offers companionship in the hardest parts of parenting, the parts that come after all the baby books end.

This is for parents carrying shame about their adult child's choices, for those exhausted from years of crisis management, for anyone learning that unconditional love doesn't require unconditional involvement. You're not giving up on them. You're just finally giving yourself permission to believe that loving them and having your own life aren't mutually exclusive, even when it feels impossible to hold both at once.

AUDIOBOOK: https://amzn.to/3NaWAvs

22/12/2025

10/12/2025

WELCOME TO HEATHER WISDOM
A space for calm, clarity, inspiration, and gentle guidance in a busy world.

If you’re looking for short daily insights, grounding messages, mindful reflections, and moments that help you pause and reconnect, this is where you’ll find them. Find me on WhatsApp under Heather Wisdom.

https://whatsapp.com/channel/0029VbBq1fiC6ZvjzhaciL2O

10/12/2025

Denmark is moving away from the “cry it out” sleep training method, largely due to pressure from over 700 psychologists who signed an open letter citing harm to infant emotional development, leading the Danish board to reconsider its guidance, emphasizing responsive care and secure attachment as healthier alternatives.

Studies find consistently ignoring a crying baby can negatively impact their brain development, increase stress hormones like cortisol and can even affect their future emotional health.

Babies communicate their needs by crying, and ignoring these cries can lead to prolonged periods of stress, causing a rise in cortisol levels. Elevated cortisol levels can negatively impact brain development, brain structure and a baby’s ability to regulate stress even later in life.

Consistent responsiveness to a baby’s cries helps them develop a sense of security and trust in their caregivers. This can lead to a more secure attachment, which is crucial for emotional well-being, healthy social relationships and brain development.

Babies are not trying to manipulate their parents when they cry, they are communicating their needs and attempting to establish a connection. Responding to these cries is critical for building a strong bond and promoting healthy development.

10/12/2025

Social Anxiety During the Festive Season, How to cope.

The festive season is meant to feel joyful, yet for many people it brings increased social pressure, busier environments, and emotional fatigue.
If you feel more anxious at this time of year, you are not alone and you are not “too sensitive.”

Your nervous system is simply signalling overload, not weakness.

Why Social Anxiety Spikes at This Time of Year

• More social gatherings → fear of judgement, pressure to perform, overstimulation
• Family dynamics → old wounds, comparison, and expectations resurface, remembering loved ones who are no longer with us
• End-of-year exhaustion → a tired brain is more reactive and less resilient
• Financial + emotional pressure → “I should…”, “I must…”
• Change in routine → harder to stay regulated without structure

All of these activate the amygdala, increase rumination, and make simple interactions feel daunting.

If this is you, breathe.

Choose presence over performance.

Set gentle boundaries.

Step outside when you need space.

You are allowed to protect your peace this season.

You don’t have to be everything for everyone, you only need to be you. e

08/12/2025

Have you ever tried to fix an ongoing lack of energy by getting more sleep — only to do so and still feel exhausted?

04/12/2025

Why People Gossip (and What It Really Means)

Gossip is a very human behavior. It’s less about cruelty and more about our brains trying to connect, process, and regulate emotions. Here’s what’s really happening when people gossip:

- **To feel connected:** Gossip acts like social glue, creating shared experiences and belonging.
- **To make sense of uncertainty:** Talking about others helps people process confusion and seek reassurance.
- **To relieve stress:** Gossip can be an emotional release valve, though not always in healthy ways.
- **To boost self-esteem:** It offers a temporary lift when someone feels insecure.
- **To gain social power: ** Gossip can control narratives and form alliances.
- **Habit or environment: ** Some groups normalize gossip, making it routine.
- **To avoid looking inward: ** It’s easier to talk about others than face one’s own discomfort.
- **Because the brain loves stories:** Gossip provides stimulation, novelty, and emotional engagement.

Not all gossip is harmful:
Positive gossip** celebrates and uplifts.
Neutral gossip** shares harmless updates.
Negative gossip** criticizes or undermines.

When gossip is about you:
It usually reflects the other person’s insecurity, projection, or need to bond at your expense. Gossip says far more about them than it does about you.

The Deeper Truth
People gossip because they are human. But emotional maturity means learning to connect without tearing others down. When you understand gossip’s roots, you can rise above it — choosing peace, resilience, and healthier ways to bond.

20/11/2025

Reclaiming Sleep
Your mind and body haven’t forgotten how to rest, they’ve just been overwhelmed.

When stress, grief, anxiety or burnout push the nervous system into “alert mode,” sleep becomes elusive. But with gentle neuroplasticity, somatic calming, and guided hypnotherapy, the brain can relearn safety, softness, and deep rest.

Your sleep can return.
Your nervous system can settle.
Your mind can exhale again.

If you’ve been struggling to switch off, you’re not alone and there are ways to reclaim the peace your body is craving.

20/11/2025

20/11/2025

Survivors choose “the hero’s journey” every day.

10/11/2025

𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧’𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐲.𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦.

It’s the soft strength of choosing one slow breath…
one grounded moment…
one steady step forward.

Resilience doesn’t mean pretending the storm isn’t there.
It means recognising that the storm will pass and you have the inner capacity to stand, sway, breathe…
and return to yourself.

Each time you regulate your breath,
soothe your nervous system,
and speak gently to your mind
you build new pathways of calm,
rewiring your brain for peace.

Your calm is your power.
Your resilience is your comeback.
And your pace is perfect.

09/11/2025

Who Dreads the Christmas–New Year Season… and Why?

Not everyone looks forward to the holidays.
For many, this time of year brings emotional heaviness, not joy and that’s okay.

Here are some of the most common reasons people struggle with the festive season:

✅ Grief feels sharper — the empty chair at the table is louder than ever.
✅ Family tension, conflict, or unresolved trauma can make gatherings unbearable.
✅ Loneliness becomes amplified when everything around you celebrates connection.
✅ Financial pressure creates stress and shame.
✅ Burnout and emotional exhaustion make extra expectations overwhelming.
✅ Anxiety makes crowds, events, and noise difficult to cope with.
✅ Complex childhood memories resurface.
✅ Big life changes — divorce, illness, loss — make the season feel heavy.
✅ High self-expectations lead to pressure to “make it perfect.”
✅ Feeling like you didn’t achieve enough this year brings self-doubt.
✅ Addiction recovery becomes harder with triggers everywhere.
✅ Seasonal depression reduces energy and motivation.

You are not broken if you feel this way.
You are not alone.
Your feelings are valid — and you don’t have to pretend to be festive if you aren’t.

Be gentle with yourself.
Create boundaries.
Protect your peace.