Lisa Liu Counselling Psychologist

25/06/2025

We feel a deep sorrow called grief, which is a response to loss that’s often triggered by the death of a loved one. However, grief isn’t limited to death alone. It can also arise from other significant forms of loss — the loss of a home, financial stability, a relationship, or even a sense of safety and certainty.
While some losses are tangible, others are harder to define-but no less painful. This is the grief of mourning something we never had. It might be the grief of an infertile woman or man mourning the children they will never biologically have, or the grief of an adoptee yearning for a connection with biological parents they never knew. It might also be the ache of never having had a loving or safe caregiver.
These types of losses are harder to define or express because they don’t leave behind something physical or concrete. Instead, they represent the absence of something deeply meaningful — something longed for, hoped for, or imagined.
Intangible loss is still loss. And it deserves to be acknowledged and honoured. Beneath the surface of that sorrow might be a longing for a sense of home, a lost part of one’s identity, or the unmet dream of becoming a parent.
It’s important to recognise that while these losses may be invisible, they can deeply affect a person’s sense of self and belonging. The absence of something hoped for or deeply desired can be just as painful as any tangible loss — and it is okay to grieve that, too.

23/08/2024

09/09/2022

Gentle reminder that how you treat yourself is just as important as how you treat others.

07/09/2022

The discomfort of loving ourselves comes from various factors sometimes it comes from the belief that we don't deserve it or not having done it before. Whatever, the reason, this a reminder that self-compassion is hard and uncomfortable but does not mean you're not worthy of it. It is important to sit through the discomfort and give love to the parts of yourself that have been neglected for too long.

05/09/2022

Sometimes, we forget that our happiness is from within and has more to do with our inner work than on those around us. However, it does not mean that one needs to be happy all the time and invalidate and ignore painful emotions.

01/09/2022

This is a gentle reminder that someone else's trauma does not invalidate whatever you're going through is hard too.

31/08/2022

Shame, is an emotion that is easily overlooked but carried very heavily. This a reminder that most of the time when we are shamed, it has a lot to do with the people who shame's own insecurities. But, it is important for ourselves to identify and let go of shame that should not be ours to carry.

22/08/2022

Often we feel so triggered by our children because they remind us of memory in our own childhood. For instance, if your cries provoked anger in your parents, your child's cries will feel intolerable because it reminds you too much of the pain of not being able to express your own emotions. When these wounds come up, and we recognize them as such, we are given such a gift-- we get to break toxic family cycles and give our children what we so desperately needed as a child.

18/07/2022

15/07/2022

The harsh inner critic often tells us to do better be better in order to be more lovable and only when we reach a satisfactory point of change will we be good enough to love ourselves. The irony is that, that method often does not work but we consistently believe it to be true, we believe we need to be harder on ourselves to be worthy. However, the reality is that when that inner critic is so loud and harsh, we'll never feel good enough.

07/07/2022

If we don't feel worthy of praise, no matter how much and often somebody praises you, it'll feel that other people are not being genuine and they just being polite.