10/02/2026
I get A LOT of enquiries about what various levels of care cost and what's included. Many folk have never entered the arena of elderly care previously and to be fair, it is a VAST and scary place. You dont know who is genuine, who is ripping you off, if there are hidden costs or what guarantees there are.
So here's a few tips from the "horses mouth" so to speak!
1. DO YOUR HOMEWORK🌼
"Google maps" the homes in your area, ask friends, ask your elderly friends where they've visited that's nice, but throw your net wide- often homes won't have space at all, or appropriate placing and you need to compare like with like. Dont be shy being open about making comparisons, I often get callers saying they are phoning around. GOOD! that means you are looking to be informed, thats excellent.
2. WRITE DOWN YOUR QUESTIONS 🌼
You need to ask the same or similar questions of each facility. Trust me, youre going to forget either the questions or the answers after call number 3! Take the time to prepare, you won't regret it.
3. BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU NEED🌼
Dont try to cover up the need for dementia care, or that they fall, or that they smoke, or that they're incontinent. You need to place your loved one in the RIGHT spot. The truth will come out eventually and it would be a disaster to get into a home and then they realize that your needs are different and ask you to leave or need to charge you more for increased care. Each move is a massive stress on the person moving, their family and the carers who then need to get to know their new resident. Do it as few times as possible.
4. APPROPRIATE PLACEMENT IS CRITICAL 🌼
Gosh ! I simply cannot emphasize this enough. This new home is not your home, its not what YOU'D like, its what they need (primarily) and would enjoy. Its tempting to choose a place that sounds like its a veritable feast of rolling activities each day, but is that really what they need or would want?
Older, less capable people dont always enjoy lots of activities, or lots of different people coming and going. Quieter, more structured routines are safer, feel manageable and create more confidence for those who can't really do a lot themselves. You are not going to get someone in their 80s who has been living secluded and keeping mostly to themselves to 'enjoy their lives more' by placing them amongst others who are busy doing stuff all day. By all means look for stimulation, but pitch it at their current level, not how things were 20 years ago or how you wish they'd be now.
5. BE CAREFUL OF BIG ROOMS🌼
Big rooms are lovely for people who can walk around and have good balance.
Smaller rooms are much better for someone who is weaker, has poor endurance and is a fall risk. Why? When they aren't strong and have lost their daily endurance that they had some years ago, walking from the chair to the bed, to the bathroom and then the basin starts to become exhausting when they're doing it 5/6/7 times a day (because of a dicky bladder) and dragging the walker or stick with them 5m there and 5m back. Sounds silly, but little by little, a little becomes a lot and the exhaustion catches them out. Smaller rooms have furniture placed closer which gives them something to hold onto if they're walking without an aid or just a stick, and helps balance.
Its a fine line to understand just how much daily movement creates strength and encourages independence, versus what is just that little bit too much. Be cautious- remember this room, flat or whatever the living space is, must be appropriate - stop worrying about what others will think if you choose a smaller room, your level of care is not measured in square meters. If they're exhausted walking short distances, a smaller room is better. If they can manage a bigger room and navigate steering and walking distances regularly then go for bigger!
6. NOTE HOW YOUR ENQUIRIES ARE ANSWERED 🌼
Really, you should not have to be guarded in your questions because you get the feeling that asking questions is too much or not welcomed. You're entitled to quizz as much as you like. If your calls are going unanswered, or your emails never get replied to - approach with caution.
All of us might erroneously miss a call here and there, or an email gets a late response occasionally, but you should not have to beg to get a viewing appointment or leave multiple messages with carers to get the person in charge to get back to you. If you aren't getting clear communication before you move in, its unlikely its going to improve once you sign on the bottom line.
PART 2 .....later this week 🌼🌼🌼🌼
