Quillhall Haven Rest Home

07/06/2025

06/11/2024

If I get dementia, I’d like my family, friends and Carers to hang this wish list up on the wall where I live. I want them to remember these things.
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1. If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality.
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2. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
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3. If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
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4. If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
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5. If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
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6. If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
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7. If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
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8. If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
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9. If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
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10. If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
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11. If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
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12. If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even now if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
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13. If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
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14. If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
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15. If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
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16. If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
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17. If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
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18. If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
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19. If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
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20. If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
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21. If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.
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25/07/2024

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but instead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.
After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.
By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.
There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.
'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.
She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.
She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'
'Oh, you're such a good boy,’ she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'
'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..
'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.’
I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice.. ‘The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.
'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.
For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.
We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.
Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.
As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'.
We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.
Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move.
They must have been expecting her.
I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.
'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.
'Nothing,' I said.
'You have to make a living,' she answered.
'There are other passengers,' I responded.
Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.
'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'
I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life..
I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?
On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.
We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.
But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.
PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID ~BUT~ THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
At the bottom of this great story was a request to forward this - I deleted that request because if you have read to this point, you won't have to be asked to pass it along you just will...
Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.
Credit - original owner ( respect 🫡)

29/06/2024

WHEN PARENTS GET OLD ...
Let them grow old with the same love that they let you grow ... let them speak and tell repeated stories with the same patience and interest that they heard yours as a child ... let them overcome, like so many times when they let you win ... let them enjoy their friends just as they let you … let them enjoy the talks with their grandchildren, because they see you in them ... let them enjoy living among the objects that have accompanied them for a long time, because they suffer when they feel that you tear pieces of this life away ... let them be wrong, like so many times you have been wrong and they didn’t embarrass you by correcting you ...
LET THEM LIVE and try to make them happy the last stretch of the path they have left to go; give them your hand, just like they gave you their hand when you started your path!
(“Honor your mother and father and your days shall be long upon the earth”.)

06/06/2024

'Wrinkles mean you Laughed. Grey hair means you cared. And Scars mean you lived.' (Golden Flower)

In the tapestry of human experience, the physical markers of time - wrinkles, grey hair, and scars - hold profound stories of resilience, compassion, and vitality.
Each crease etched upon the canvas of our skin signifies moments of uncontrolled laughter, echoing the joyous echoes of a life well-lived. Grey strands woven amidst the tapestry of hair bear witness to the depth of care and love given to others, a testament to the profound connections formed along the journey.
And within the intricate web of scars lie narratives of courage and endurance, embodying the lasting imprints of lived experiences and lessons learned.

These physical manifestations of a life fully embraced serve as reminders of the richness and complexity inherent in the human existence, weaving a narrative of strength, compassion, and resilience etched on the canvas of time. ❤☀

23/05/2024

Hello Friends 👋🏻
Please help My Business Grow 🌱

I have a HUGE yet SMALL favour to ask!

1. Go to My Business Page Quillhall Haven Rest Home

2. Go to the 3 little dots on the side of page, hit “Invite Friends”.

3. Select "Invite All" & you're Done! 😁

You've SUCCESSFULLY supported my Small Business for R0.00 and less than 15 seconds of your time.

Thank You for supporting My Local Small Business 🤩

16/02/2024

I asked a friend who has crossed 70 & is heading towards 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following:

1. After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have now started loving myself.

2. I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

3. I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

4. I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.

5. I stopped telling the elderly that they've already told that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.

6. I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

7. I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say "Thank You.”

8. I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.

9. I walk away from people who don't value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.

10. I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.

11. I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.

12. I have learned that it's better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas with relationships, I will never be alone.

13. I have learned to live each day as if it's the last. After all, it might be the last.

14. I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!

I decided to share this for all my friends. Why do we have to wait to be 60 or 70 or 80, why can't we practice this at any stage and age.