Ilze Biggs - Counselling Psychologist in Port Elizabeth

04/06/2025

When therapy comes to an end with a client we may pick up again months later or even years later, sometimes, I don't see the client again. However, I do carry the people who have shared the space with me. I wonder about them, curious how their lives are unfolding. I share such an intimate and vulnerable space with the humans in therapy, deep and meaningful conversations, authentic truths are revealed, pain is shared, meaning making stories. I think of you. You have shaped me in my evolution as a woman and psychologist. Thank you

07/05/2025

Self-sabotaging behaviors are patterns of thought or action that hinder an individual's potential, goals, or success. Here are some common examples:

1. *Procrastination*: Delaying tasks or decisions, leading to missed opportunities or lost productivity.
2. *Negative self-talk*: Criticizing oneself excessively, eroding confidence and self-esteem.
3. *Perfectionism*: Setting unrealistically high standards, leading to frustration, anxiety, or abandonment of goals.
4. *Self-doubt*: Persistent uncertainty or lack of faith in one's abilities, holding oneself back from taking risks or pursuing opportunities.
5. *Fear of failure*: Allowing the fear of failure to dictate decisions, leading to stagnation or missed chances.
6. *Comfort zone limitations*: Staying within a narrow comfort zone, avoiding challenges and growth opportunities.
7. *Addictive behaviors*: Engaging in harmful habits or dependencies that hinder personal growth and well-being.
8. *Self-blame and guilt*: Excessively dwelling on past mistakes, leading to emotional distress and reduced motivation.
9. *Lack of boundaries*: Overcommitting, overextending, or allowing others to dictate one's priorities.
10. *Fear of success*: Subconsciously sabotaging efforts due to a deep-seated fear of achieving success or its perceived consequences.
11. *Comparison to others*: Constantly measuring oneself against others, leading to feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem.
12. *Inability to ask for help*: Struggling alone, rather than seeking support or guidance when needed.
13. *Self-destructive habits*: Engaging in harmful activities, such as substance abuse or reckless behavior, which can harm physical and mental health.
14. *Lack of self-care*: Neglecting one's physical, emotional, and mental well-being, leading to burnout or decreased resilience.
15. *Stagnant relationships*: Holding onto toxic or unfulfilling relationships, rather than seeking healthier connections.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking them. By acknowledging and addressing self-sabotaging behaviors, individuals can overcome obstacles and reach their full potential.

11/04/2025

Relational intimacy: Asking thoughtful and vulnerable questions can help create emotional intimacy in relationships. Here are some examples:

# # Deepening Connection
1. What's one thing you're proud of accomplishing, and how did it make you feel?
2. What's something that's been on your mind lately, and how can I support you?
3. What's your favorite memory of us, and what made it special?

# # Understanding Each Other
1. What are your non-negotiables in our relationship?
2. How do you like to receive love and affection?
3. What are your thoughts on [insert sensitive topic]?

# # Vulnerability and Trust
1. What's something you're afraid to tell me, and how can I create a safe space for you?
2. What's a past experience that still affects you, and how can I support your healing?
3. What's one thing you wish I knew about you but haven't told me?

# # Conflict Resolution and Growth
1. What's something I do that triggers you, and how can I improve?
2. How do you think we can grow and improve together?
3. What's a conflict we've had in the past, and what did you learn from it?

# # Playfulness and Fun
1. If we could plan a dream vacation together, where would we go and what would we do?
2. What's something you've always wanted to try but have been too afraid?
3. What's your favorite way to spend quality time together?

Remember, the goal is to ask open-ended, non-judgmental questions that encourage vulnerability and connection.

29/01/2025

From my couch to yours, for anyone who needs to hear this: deep breath, presence, gratitude, trust yourself - you have got this

13/01/2025

13/01/2025

Looking forward to connect with clients in 2025. Practice is open and sessions resume this week.

Available for individuals and couples.

Connect via email: ilze@pepsychologist.co.za or whats app 0823204550.

Online or in person