Hendrien van der Bijl- Imago Relationship Therapy

Hendrien van der Bijl- Imago Relationship Therapy 🩷Therapist, married millennial, emotional translator. Helping couples stop living like polite strangers. Take the quiz. Get the guide. Do the work.👇

It’s never too late to wake up what went numb.That’s what I help couples do in the Imago Couples Intensive to rebuild sa...
03/11/2025

It’s never too late to wake up what went numb.

That’s what I help couples do in the Imago Couples Intensive
to rebuild safety, passion, and connection that lasts.

3 days.
One decision.
It could change your forever.

Book your Intensive (in person or virtual), spaces are filling fast.

03/11/2025

Let me try this again😅

You can’t fix your relationship while you’re in survival mode.

That’s the mistake most couples make, they try to reconnect while their nervous systems are still protecting them from the very person they’re trying to love.

When you’re triggered, you’re not listening.
You’re defending.
You’re scanning for danger, not understanding.

Nothing good can grow in that space, only more walls, more distance, more silence.

If you want real change, you have to start by restoring emotional safety.
Because love can’t breathe where protection still runs the show.

That’s what I teach couples in my Imago Relationship Intensive, how to calm the storm, rebuild trust, and make it safe to reach for each other again.

Spaces are filling up quickly for this year, book your Intensive now.
3 days can change everything.

31/10/2025

I get it.
I’ve been there, lying next to the person you love most, but feeling like there’s an invisible wall between you.
The tension. The silence. The “we’ll talk later.”
But later keeps getting further away.

That’s why I created this guide.
Not just from my background as an Imago Relationship Therapist,
not just from what I know about attachment, reactivity, and nervous-system repair,
but because I’m also a wife, still figuring it out too.

Maybe you’re not ready for therapy yet.
Maybe you just want a place to start.
This is it.

“Talk Like You Still Give a Sh*t”, your step-by-step way back to each other.

Comment READY to receive the link to the guide that can change your forever, forever.

“My partner doesn’t want to come for therapy.”And believe me, I get it.To ask for help goes against everything we were t...
30/10/2025

“My partner doesn’t want to come for therapy.”

And believe me, I get it.
To ask for help goes against everything we were taught, especially for the ones who’ve been told their whole lives to be strong, to figure it out, to never show weakness.

It’s not that they don’t care.
It’s that letting someone in feels terrifying.
Because what if it doesn’t help?
What if it makes it worse?
What if it confirms the fear that they failed at something that mattered most?

That’s not indifference, that’s fear in disguise.

So when your partner resists therapy, try to see the scared part underneath the frustration.
You don’t need to push or convince.
You just need to make it safe enough for them to believe this isn’t about blame, it’s about hope.

When you come to me, I’m not here to take sides.
I’m not here to tell you who’s right or wrong.
I’m here to help you both feel safe enough to finally understand what’s happening between you, not just within you.

Because asking for help isn’t giving up.
It’s the bravest thing you can do for your relationship.

If you’re standing in that in-between, wanting to fix things but not knowing how, reach out.
Let’s start with one honest conversation.

29/10/2025

After working with hundreds of couples, I’ve noticed something.
Most relationships don’t fall apart all at once, they fade quietly, slowly, over time.

Here are the 5 patterns I see again and again when love starts to feel heavy:

1️⃣ Every conversation turns into a debate. You’re both fighting to be heard, but no one’s really listening.

2️⃣ One shuts down to keep the peace. The other pushes harder, just to feel seen.

3️⃣ You keep having the same argument, with new words but the same ending.

4️⃣ The laughter fades. The spark feels distant. You start talking more about the kids or bills than each other.

5️⃣ You both start believing this is just how it is now.

But it doesn’t have to be.
You’re not broken. You’re just stuck in a pattern no one ever taught you how to break.

That’s where Imago Relationship Therapy comes in, it helps you understand why you keep missing each other, and how to finally reconnect without blame or defensiveness.

I’ve seen couples who were done, barely speaking, sleeping in separate rooms, walk out of my office holding hands again.

You don’t need a new partner.
You just need a new way to understand each other.

That’s what I help you do, in person or virtually.

If you’re ready to stop surviving your relationship and start feeling alive in it again, let’s talk.

They come in.Usually, one is hopeful, the other looks like they’d rather be anywhere else.Arms crossed. Guard up.“I don’...
28/10/2025

They come in.
Usually, one is hopeful, the other looks like they’d rather be anywhere else.
Arms crossed. Guard up.
“I don’t really want to be here,” they say quietly.
Or, “We can sort out our own problems.”

I see the fear behind the frustration.
The exhaustion beneath the distance.
Two people who still love each other, but don’t know how to find their way back.

And then something shifts.
A moment of honesty. A tear. A laugh.
A look that says, “I still see you.”

By the time they leave, they’re holding hands.
Kissing. Laughing.
Dreaming about what comes next.

It still amazes me every single time.
I love love. I love this work.
And I’d love to work with you, too.

My Imago Couples Intensive is where it happens, 3 days that can change your forever.
Available in person or virtually.

If this feels like your story, maybe it’s time to write a new chapter.





26/10/2025

When he goes quiet, it’s not always because he doesn’t care.

Sometimes, it’s because his nervous system is overwhelmed and silence is his way of feeling safe.
But silence also disconnects.

Understanding it is the first step to healing it.

Save this for the moment when the quiet feels unbearable.

They come to me tired.Done talking.Done trying.Done hoping.Couples who’ve said, “This is our last shot.”And three days l...
25/10/2025

They come to me tired.
Done talking.
Done trying.
Done hoping.

Couples who’ve said, “This is our last shot.”

And three days later
they’re holding hands again.
Laughing.
Kissing.
Looking at each other like they finally remember why they started.

Because 3 days is not forever.
But it can change your forever.

The Imago Couples Intensive isn’t about rehashing the past
it’s about finding your way back to safety, love, and aliveness.
The kind you thought was gone.

It’s deep, it’s real, and it works, whether virtually or in person.

If your relationship feels stuck or silent,
this is your chance to make your partner want you again.

Book a free call today by commenting THREE
and let’s see if this is the turning point your marriage has been waiting for.



Address

106 Shirley Avenue
Pretoria
0081

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 17:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 17:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 17:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 16:00

Telephone

+27836102892

Website

https://www.imago.joburg/SRSRQUIZ

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