26/11/2025
For Parents and Teachers
Helping your child prepare for high school next year
Written by Dr Shirley K***t
Jill Colton, writing for The Conversation, says that young people face a range of challenges when they move from primary school to the high school years.
The high school environment and learning methods can feel very different from primary school—with different classrooms and multiple teachers. In combination with the physical and cognitive changes also going on with adolescence, this can cause stress.
Young people's motivation around school work can take a dive during this time. This can be because their sense of belonging is disrupted.
This change can also feel lonely and unsettling, particularly if they don't know many or any students in their new school.
What can you do?
Encourage your child to go along if the high school offers an opportunity for visiting and being orientated into the new environment. These opportunities to visit the new school will allow you to find out what your child thinks of this time of transition. This is a perfect time to show your appreciation of their resilience ("good on you for going along, I'm proud of the way you listened to the principal's address with an open mind") and let them know you are there for them.
You could ask the school about where students store their belongings during the day, what the school day looks like, and where they can go if they are feeling unsure or worried.
Encourage friendships
We know friendships can help young people feel safe and like they belong.
Some children will be moving into high school with friends or peers from their primary school, and the December holidays are a great time to meet up so those important connections are maintained.
Connections can also be made with older students who attend the school, through family, sport or other social and community links.
Others will be starting at a new school where they do not know anyone. You can use this time ahead to talk about ways of initiating and sustaining peer relationships.
Suggest they take time to notice the other people in their class and get to know their names. It is also helpful to be a good listener but also be prepared to tell others something about yourself.
Changes in the brain
Moving from primary to high school coincides with an important stage in a young person's brain. This can be a time of great social, emotional, physical and cognitive growth. It can see a fluctuation in their moods, motivation and well-being.
But it also sees adolescents' ability to process new information increase, as well as the importance of connection to their peers.
Talk to your child about recognizing their emotions and practicing self-compassion—treating oneself with kindness—which has been shown to support resilience and well-being.
Be available to talk through decisions (be the "guide on the side"), discuss complex topics (while appreciating their opinions) and model healthy behaviours (such as eating well and exercising). For example, "you seem a bit stressed at the moment. That could be because there is a big change about to happen. Do you want talk about it? Let's go for a walk or ride
Talking with your child
It's important for kids to feel like they will be listened to without judgment, and know the adults in their lives will be there for them, even when they make a mistake.
But, keep in mind, adolescents are less likely to speak to parents or want parents to be involved at this time as increasingly, they are trying to manage socially and emotionally on their own.
Instead of giving advice/telling your child what to do, you could instead discuss how difficult situations can be navigated—and support them to solve their own problems, such as talking to teachers themselves.
Let your child know it is OK to talk with other trusted adults as they work through the challenges and changes in their lives.
Integrated Learning Therapy (ILT) strives to uncover the root causes of puzzling behaviours and learning difficulties in children. Visit the website www.ilt.co.za to learn more about this approach.
We list practitioners near you to help as well as the courses (accredited by ETDP-SETA and SACE) we offer parents, teachers and other helping professionals to become more knowledgeable about brain development and what might go wrong.
Teachers earn 15 TCPD points from SACE for successful completion of the course.
ILT 1 courses are available as attendance or by correspondence. Details are on the website but you are welcome to contact us at ilt.icon.co.za.
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Provided by The Conversation
Image supplied by Freepik
