Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy

24/04/2026

Most couples do not struggle because they lack love.

They struggle because they have been taught to think about relationship from a paradigm that fails them.

The old paradigm says:

“Who is right?”
“Who is wrong?”
“What is wrong with my partner?”
“How do I get my needs met?”
“How do I protect myself?”

But this way of thinking often keeps couples trapped in blame, defence, withdrawal, criticism and disconnection.

Imago offers couples more than communication skills.

It offers a new way of seeing relationship.

In the Imago paradigm, the relationship is not the problem. The disconnection in the space between you is the problem.

Conflict is no longer seen as proof that you are incompatible. It becomes an invitation to understand the deeper longing underneath the frustration.

Your partner is no longer the enemy. Your partner becomes the person with whom healing, growth and deeper connection can happen.

At the Getting the Love You Want Couples Workshop, you will learn how to move from reactivity to dialogue, from blame to curiosity, and from conflict to connection.

This workshop is for couples who want more than quick tips.

It is for couples who are ready to learn a different way of loving.

Book your place for the next workshop here:
https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

Kobus van der Merwe.
www.imagorelationship.co.za

23/04/2026

Conflict does not have to be the end of love.

Sometimes conflict is the signal that something painful is happening between you that needs care, understanding, and a new way of talking.

At the Getting the Love You Want Couples Workshop, you and your partner will learn how to slow the cycle, understand what keeps repeating, and begin to restore connection.

Join us 5–7 June in Pretoria. https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

16/04/2026

16/04/2026

Conflict does not have to be the end of closeness. In the Imago Couples Workshop, couples learn how to slow down reactive patterns, really hear each other, and begin turning disconnection into deeper connection.

This workshop helps you move from blame and frustration to understanding, safety, and renewed closeness.

Join us 5–7 June in Pretoria for the Imago Couples Workshop, presented by Kobus van der Merwe.

More info: https://imagorelationship.co.za/workshops/

26/03/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

IRT helped us rebuild trust one word at a time.

This couple once faced struggle: broken trust. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

19/03/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

For the first time in years, I felt truly valued.

This couple once faced struggle: feeling unvalued. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

12/03/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

Even chips and calamari felt like the best dinner because we were connected.

This couple once faced struggle: disconnect in daily life. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

11/03/2026

You don't drift apart in a long-term relationship because you "stopped trying." You drift apart because the space between you stopped feeling safe. And here's what makes this so sneaky: you can look completely fine on the outside. You still function. Still parent. Still work. Still show up to family things. You can even laugh together. But privately, you feel it: That quiet distance. That edge in your body when they walk into the room. That moment where you want to reach... and something in you pulls back. So you adapt: You become "easy" so there's no fight. Or "strong" so you don't need anything. Or "helpful" so you can earn closeness. Or "critical" because asking directly feels too vulnerable. Most couples don't call this what it is. They call it "busy," "a phase," or "we're fine." But love isn't the same as connection. Love is a feeling. Connection is a lived experience. Love can survive distance. Connection cannot. The question isn't whether you still love each other. It's whether the space between you feels safe enough for real intimacy. I created a quick assessment to help you find out - no guessing, no normalising, just clarity on what's actually happening between you. Take the free quiz (3 minutes): Link in comments read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/you-didnt-stop-trying-space-between-stopped-feeling-safe/

05/03/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

We’re learning to mirror, not to judge.

This couple once faced struggle: judgmental responses. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

03/03/2026

Ever feel like you and your partner are speaking different languages when it comes to needing closeness versus needing space? You're not alone. This is one of the most common patterns therapists see - and one of the most painful, because both people are acting out of legitimate needs. One couple came to an intensive with this exact question: "How can we be close again without one of us feeling trapped?" What they discovered changed everything: His need for connection wasn't neediness - it was a childhood wound around feeling forgotten Her need for space wasn't coldness - it was a childhood fear that closeness meant disappearing Neither was "wrong" - but their defenses kept triggering each other The solution wasn't complicated. They designed a 5-minute evening ritual: one hug, one check-in, one question ("What do you need tonight?"), then freedom with a reconnection plan. Simple. Repeatable. Transformative. If you see yourself in this pattern, there's hope. The full article explains exactly how they broke the cycle. Link in comments read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/how-to-be-close-again-without-feeling-trapped/

26/02/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

I feel less alone in this relationship now.

This couple once faced struggle: loneliness in marriage. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

25/02/2026

https://imagorelationship.co.za/tv/