Kobus van der Merwe - Imago Relationship Therapy

17/02/2026

What if love isn't something you find - but something you practice? Imago Relationship Therapy offers a radical reframe: love is a verb. Not a feeling that sustains your relationship, but a series of intentional behaviours that CREATE the feelings you want. The focus shifts from "What's wrong with you?" to "What's happening in the Space-Between?" That invisible relational field is where your relationship lives. Creating safety requires three practices: Imago Dialogue: Mirroring ("If I got it, you said..."), Validation ("You make sense because..."), Empathy ("I imagine you might be feeling...") Zero Negativity: Permanently removing criticism and contempt. "Negative words are like red dye in water - they permeate everything." Daily Affirmations: Three specific appreciations a day. Research shows this literally rewires your brain. Here's the paradox: you were unconsciously drawn to someone who would wound you in familiar ways. Not for pain - for healing. The behaviours hardest for you to give are often what your partner needs most. In giving them, you heal yourself. Love isn't found. It's built. Full article: [link] read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/love-is-a-verb-imago-approach-safety-connection-joy/

16/02/2026

Your partner is a mirror. Do you like what you see?
We often think we fell in love with our partner because they were "perfect." But Imago theory teaches us the truth: we fell in love because they were familiar. They hold the key to healing our childhood wounds.

That friction you feel? That constant argument you can’t seem to solve? It’s not a sign that you married the wrong person. It’s a signal that growth is trying to happen.

Stop firing your partner for being a mirror. Learn how to use the reflection to heal.

In just three days, our Imago Couples Intensive gives you the tools to turn conflict into connection.

Secure your space:
👉 https://imagorelationship.co.za/intensives/

14/02/2026

14/02/2026

🩷❤️Goeiemôre, goeiemôre, goeiemôre aan al ons lojale ontbytSAKE kykers. Gelukkige Valentynsdag! ❤️🩷

Ons nooi elkeen van julle uit om vanoggend saam met ons in te skakel vir ons valentynsprogram. Ons gesels met twee verhoudingsterapeute en hulle deel met ons ń paar wenke oor verhoudings en die huwelik 👀 JY wil dit NIE misloop NIE ✨👏🏼

✨ 07:30 op kykNET (kanaal 144) ✨

💬 Is jou televisie aangeskakel en jou koffie gereed?

14/02/2026

Onthou om vanmore op ontbytSAKE my en Hendrien te sien praat oor Imago

12/02/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

The dialogue slowed us down enough to really listen.

This couple once faced struggle: superficial listening. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

10/02/2026

10/02/2026

That feeling when the "spark" starts fading? Before you panic, here's what neuroscience wants you to know: Limerence - the intoxicating "falling in love" state - is a neurochemical event. Dopamine, noradrenaline, phenylethylamine. The same chemicals involved in addiction. It typically lasts 6-18 months. Then your brain returns to baseline. This isn't failure. It's biology. Every relationship travels three stages:
1. Romantic Love (the chemistry)
2. The Power Struggle (the conflict)
3. Conscious Love (the choice)

Most couples get stuck in stage two - the repetitive conflicts, the distance, the sense that something's wrong. But here's the reframe: the power struggle is growth trying to happen. You didn't choose wrong. You chose exactly right - for healing. Couples who make it to stage three report something remarkable: love that's MORE satisfying than the beginning. Helen Fisher's brain scans show long-term couples retain passion PLUS gain calm, security, and depth. The question isn't whether you can get back to the beginning. (You can't.) The question is whether you'll move forward into something better. Full article: [link] read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/from-falling-in-love-to-choosing-love/

07/02/2026

06/02/2026

🎥 This Imago couples training changed how she sees every relationship — including her own.
She'd studied relationships for years. Thought she had it figured out. Then she walked into her first Imago Clinical Training — and discovered something she never expected: her own contribution to the struggle.
"I started to discover that I did have a contribution to our relationship… and that's exciting, because then I'm empowered to change myself."
That shift — from trying to fix your partner to understanding the relational space between you — is exactly what Imago teaches. And it doesn't just transform how you work with couples. It transforms how you show up in every relationship you're in.
As a therapist, she used to buy into one partner's story. Now she sees three truths in the room at any given moment. She sees how one partner's needs invite the other into growth — and how exquisite that fit is, especially around the areas of greatest conflict.
Her colleague's words from that first training? "Your life is about to change." They had no idea how true that would be.
ICT Online — Module 1 starts March 5, 2026.
8 Thursdays. Live on Zoom. 1–3 pm Eastern + weekly self-study.
You'll learn to:
↳ Facilitate the Imago Dialogue (Mirroring, Validation, Empathy)
↳ Work from a relational paradigm — not just an individual model
↳ Transform power struggles into connection
↳ Convert frustrations into specific behavioural change requests
$790 early bird (register by Feb 20) | $1,000 after
32 CE credits available
Presented by Nedra Fetterman, PhD · Herb Tannenbaum, PhD · Kobus van der Merwe, BD

05/02/2026

✨ Real Couples, Real Breakthroughs ✨

I can see tenderness in my partner’s eyes again.

This couple once faced struggle: loss of tenderness. Through Imago Relationship Therapy, they learned to listen, connect, and heal together. Their relationship transformed from pain to possibility. 💙

Discover how Imago Therapy can help you too: www.imagorelationship.co.za

03/02/2026

Forget the gym membership this Valentine's. Forget the supplements. If you want to live longer and healthier, the science is clear: invest in your relationship. The Harvard Study has been tracking lives for 87 years. Their finding? Relationship satisfaction at age 50 predicts physical health better than cholesterol levels. Loneliness? It's as deadly as smoking 15 ci******es daily. Here's what the research shows about couples who thrive: They prioritise emotional safety. They repair quickly after conflict. They maintain 5 positive interactions for every negative one. They respond to each other's bids for connection 86% of the time They keep investing - they don't assume love maintains itself Your relationship isn't a nice-to-have. It IS your wellbeing. This Valentine's, what would it mean to treat it that way? Full article: read more https://imagorelationship.co.za/the-science-is-clear-love-is-best-medicine/