07/03/2016
To be or not to be- reflections and resolutions
7 March 2016
I suppose that you, like me, used the Festive Season to rejoice, reconnect, detox, and spend some time doing some introspection.
Here is what my reflection process found:
• We celebrated my mother in law’s 80th birthday and buried her in the same year.
• Two family members were diagnosed with cancer.
• I now have 3 grievances instead of 2, including two written warnings.
• I broke my foot and am now a Lisfranc survivor.
• That calendar years that have an uneven number like 2013 or 2015 are not good years for me.
• I have realised that the people you thought you knew and could trust can change overnight.
• That trauma can bring families together or break them up.
• I can survive despite not being paid what I am worth.
Do you also sometimes wonder what you did to deserve what is happening to you? I do, but not for long.
I have realized that life never tests you to find out if you are weak- it tests you to see if you want to learn, to grow, to be better, stronger and a new person.
A person that can handle what comes next, things that you can never anticipate- illness, loss of income, outcomes that you did not expect, failed relationships, etc.
These events tests your resilience, your tenacity, your willingness to bend, be flexible, accommodating, tolerant and solution-oriented.
“Minds are like flowers, they only open when the time is right.” ― Stephen Richards
Of course it helps to be positive, but what does this mean- to be positive? If you look online for a definition the following words come up- constructive, optimistic, confident, practical, useful, pragmatic, productive, helpful, worthwhile, beneficial, and effective.
In other words someone who does not linger on the problem, but takes control of what is under their control and gets into action to find value or add value for themselves out of the event.
One must also remember that no event is either good or bad – we decide which one it is. You don’t believe me? Of course you are asking what good can come from having cancer? That depends on your mindset. You can decide to be a victim or a survivor.
You can decide to make the most of your life and live it to the fullest or you can give up on life. You can decide to spend the rest of your remaining time on this earth showing your loved ones how grateful you are for your life and for them or you can decide to be miserable and make them miserable as well. It is your choice.
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.” ― Abraham Lincoln
So what were my New Year’s Resolutions? Well, there were a few- health, business goals, relationships, etc. But overall, I decided to be POSITIVE in 2016.
You see, I have learnt that once you set a goal, and it doesn’t really matter what the goal is- life starts throwing you curve-balls. Yup, it is as if the whole universe conspires to throw rocks in your way. Things start going wrong, plans don’t work out as you thought, it starts to look as if you will never get to where you want to be.
“The true measure of success is how many times you can bounce back from failure.” ― Stephen Richards
This is when you must remain resolute, and stick to your plans, do the small steps daily that starts to add up weekly, monthly and contributes to achieving your goal. Look at each rock that life throws in your way as something to step on to reach higher, to jump over to stretch your legs and land further ahead. In other words, they are opportunities.
“You are essentially who you create yourself to be and all that occurs in your life is the result of your own making.” ― Stephen Richards, Think Your way to Success: Let Your Dreams Run Free
Remain positive, focus on your goal and keep going. Whatever happens, don’t stop, don’t ever stop. If your goal is worthwhile to achieve, so is the sacrifice.
“Cultivate an optimistic mind, use your imagination, always consider alternatives, and dare to believe that you can make possible what others think is impossible.”
― Rodolfo Costa, Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes
