28/12/2025
🤍
Heart or spine? If I have to choose, I’m out.
Through my experiences with people (and more noticeably men), I’ve seen the same two types on repeat. Lots of heart with no spine. Or lots of spine with no heart. Even though they all swear they have both 😉🤷🏻♀️🤣.
Here’s what most people miss.
Heart without spine isn’t kindness. It’s avoidance positioned as virtuous.
And spine without heart isn’t strength. It’s armour masquerading as integrity.
👆🏻 these two… a dime a dozen.
I’m a strong woman. Call it “alpha” if you want. For years I either overinflated that or tried to soften it, wondering why my presence seemed to intimidate.
Then it clicked.
People who are integrated don’t need to announce themselves. They don’t perform, posture or chase admiration.
Why?
Because they have both spine and heart and they don’t outsource their worth.
And here’s how you know.
In their presence, you don’t shrink or harden. There’s no need to water yourself down or split into versions. All of you is welcomed.
Respect isn’t chemistry. It isn’t intention and it isn’t how much someone feels.
Respect is behavioural.
It’s being direct without being reckless. Warm without being weak and honest without theatrics.
I don’t listen to what people say anymore. I watch what they do when it’s inconvenient.
I’ve learnt this:
You can’t make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear. Trying to convert someone into something they’re not ends in confusion and self-betrayal.
My respect isn’t won with charm. It’s earned with courage and character.
For me, heart or spine isn’t a preference anymore.
It’s the baseline. And I don’t negotiate baselines.
Let that sink.
❤️