Francois Esterhuizen

Francois Esterhuizen Marriage counselling and life coaching. Skills, tips and training for better relationships.

31/10/2025

Why do I second-guess myself?

Because I’ve learned to chase certainty instead of clarity.
Because I think being wrong means I am wrong.
Because I treat every decision like it has to prove who I am.

But clarity doesn’t come from thinking more. It comes from moving.
Decide. Act. Adjust. That’s how confidence is built.

Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

30/10/2025

You think you’re being kind — but you’re really just trying to stay safe.

People pleasing isn’t kindness. It’s control.
It’s your way of managing how others see you so you don’t have to feel rejection, disapproval, or conflict.
You think, “If they’re happy with me, I’ll be okay.”
But that kind of safety is borrowed — it only lasts as long as their approval does.

True kindness doesn’t require you to disappear.
It’s not about keeping everyone comfortable; it’s about being honest and present without losing yourself.
You don’t need everyone to like you.
You just need to like yourself enough to be real.

—
Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

29/10/2025

You feel anxious because your mind has too many open loops.
Every ping, message, and notification pulls your attention in a hundred directions.
Your nervous system never gets to close a loop — it just keeps waiting for what’s next.
So the first step to calming anxiety isn’t deep breathing. It’s turning off your notifications.
Create silence. Let your mind settle.

The second reason you feel anxious is because you use your imagination against yourself.
You picture everything that could go wrong instead of what could go right.
You rehearse worst-case scenarios instead of best-case possibilities.

Your imagination is powerful — it’s not the enemy.
It’s just waiting for new instructions.
So start imagining what might go well.
Train your mind to build peace, not panic.

—
Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

28/10/2025

Overthinking happens when your mind looks for certainty in places that only ever offer feedback.
Instead of trying to silence your thoughts, guide them toward what you can actually influence.
Ask yourself: What part of this is mine to act on? What part is not?
Then take one small action. That’s how thought finds rest — through movement.

You also overthink when you under-feel.
When something feels uncertain or uncomfortable, your mind starts analysing instead of allowing the feeling.
But clarity doesn’t come from analysing emotions — it comes from naming them.
Pause and ask: What am I really feeling right now that I don’t want to feel?
The moment you name it, the mind no longer needs to solve it.

And finally — you confuse control with clarity.
You think if you think long enough, you’ll finally feel certain.
But certainty isn’t found through control — it’s built through trust.
You can’t think your way into clarity. You have to walk your way into it.
Start before you’re ready. Feel, act, adjust.
That’s how overthinking ends — not when the mind stops, but when the self moves.

—
Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

27/10/2025

You don’t have to pretend to know.
You don’t have to act like you’ve mastered it.
You don’t have to mirror the people in the room to belong there.

You’re allowed to be a rookie.
You’re allowed to be new.
You’re allowed to learn.

Belonging doesn’t come from perfection it comes from curiosity, humility, and the courage to grow in public.

—
Free your potential. Go to getclarity.co.za to get started.

24/10/2025

Sometimes your life can look perfect the career, the house, the relationship and still feel strangely empty.

That feeling doesn’t mean something’s wrong. It means something’s old.
Your outer world has outgrown your inner world’s meaning.

The routines still work. The relationships still function. But the beliefs that once gave them life have quietly expired.

You’re living in a house you built with an older version of yourself.
Maybe it’s time to start renovating from the inside.

23/10/2025

You don’t need to stop comparing yourself to others, you need to listen to what the comparison is trying to show you.

It’s never really about them.
It’s a mirror, pointing to the places where you’ve outsourced your worth.

Instead of asking, “Why not me?”, try asking:
👉 “What belief about myself is being activated?”
👉 “What desire in me is being reflected here?”

Comparison hurts when you use someone else’s ruler.

22/10/2025

We don’t suffer from a lack of information — we suffer from a lack of integration.

You can listen to every podcast, read every book, and quote every insight… but until it changes the way you think, nothing really changes.

Integration happens in the quiet, when you pause, reflect, and write.
That’s where information becomes transformation.

🪞 Try this: after your next podcast or video, journal what stood out and why.
See what you think, so you can start living it.

17/09/2025

To work with me: Book a Private Consultation or take a Complimentary assessment. This episode explains that the uncomfortable emotions we avoid are doorways to the breakthroughs we want. It distinguishes three ways we engage with feelings — intellectualizing, intuiting, and instinctual sensations ...

Address

Stellenbosch

Opening Hours

Monday 09:00 - 21:00
Tuesday 09:00 - 18:00
Wednesday 09:00 - 18:00
Thursday 09:00 - 17:00
Friday 09:00 - 12:00

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Francois Esterhuizen posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Francois Esterhuizen:

Shortcuts

Share

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on LinkedIn
Share on Pinterest Share on Reddit Share via Email
Share on WhatsApp Share on Instagram Share on Telegram