05/03/2026
The news of Ian von Memerty taking his own life (his self-deliverance) has made me really sad.
Many South Africans came to know Ian through South Africa's Got Talent, where he never tried to steal the spotlight, choosing instead to lift others with insight, encouragement and genuine care. But long before television, and long after the cameras stopped rolling, he was shaping stages, mentoring young musicians and pouring his heart into theatre, composition and musical direction.
On the 14th of October 2025, he announced he would start a new โseriesโ on his social media. On the 17th of November, the first chapter of โDying for a Better Lifeโ was launched. Over the next couple of weeks, he shared videos and his writings (and reactions to comments) on his journey.
He was steadfast that he would be leaving this world โon his own termsโ.
In 133 days, we watched, through our screens, as a man died. It feels like weโve just lived through an episode of โBlack Mirrorโ.
I am not adding my opinion to what he chose to do. Or what he called it. That was his decision to make. And he was very public about it.
But I will say this.
I was just 17 years old when, for the first time, someone who I loved took their life. I called Gareth my cousin when I introduced him to people. Our parents were best friends. We went on holiday. And spent weekends together. He was like an older brother to me. One that I truly loved. He had a โgruffโ voice. And a hard laugh. One that came from his belly. He was strong. And he always made me feel safe.
The weekend before I got the news, I bumped into him at a club. Ja, I was getting into clubs with my โfake student cardโ. We chatted for a long time. We laughed. He told me that night to be me. Fully. And to never be afraid. To be brave. I donโt think he knew what he was going to do. But I wish I knew. I donโt think it would have changed anything. But I would have hugged him a little tighter that night. Good grief, I would have hugged him tighter always.
All these years later, and I still think of Gareth. I miss him. And I miss the โwhat ifโ. Like, I know we would still be spending weekends together. And I would still be listening to his stories in his gruff voice. And hearing his big laugh. And he would still be making me feel safe.
Since then, I have lost many friends and family to su***de. I miss them all.
I didnโt know Ian personally, and I know he called what he did โself-deliverenceโ but his story has stirred something in me. Itโs made me really sad.
We all know someone. We have all lost someone. We all understand the trauma now.
And I guess knowing is a constant reminder that we are all fighting really hard battles. We live in a very broken world where people who we love are dealing with massive monsters that we know nothing about. Good grief, all those horrible things we face.
Around 1 million people die by su***de each year. Every 40 seconds, the loss of a person who killed themselves shatters the lives of family and friends.
I think thatโs why it is so important to be kinder than necessary or needed to everyone. Full stop. Because we have no idea what other people are dealing with. Try to remember that. Above everything else, just be kind.
Always be kind.
And that means being kinder to ourselves too.
It might not change anything. Or stop someone from doing what they feel is best for them. But what if it does? What if our kindness could save a life? Or make someone hold on... just for one more day.
So, hereโs my adivce friends: Watch more sunrises. Stop doing s**t you hate. Believe in yourself. Do what feels good. Take risks. Make yourself proud. Create a life that makes you happy. Love your body more. Hang with awesome peeps. Throw toxic in the trash. Smash some goals. Walk barefoot. Share your magic. Love louder. Flaunt your awesome. Be kinder to yourself. Be a nice human. Give as****es the boot. Be the reason someone smiles today. And be brave.
And if you canโt be brave, please reach out.
Be kind to yourself.
Okay. Love you.
