22/08/2024
Some people have a LOT of opinions. And they certainly like to share them (!!) - irrespective of how helpful (or not), how respectful (or not), or just plain hurtful they are. It's one thing to do 'the work' and to pursue a life that is wildly true to you... it's a whole other thing having to navigate it within the world of opinionated people.
๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฎ๐ข๐ณ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ต? ๐๐ฉ๐บ ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐ท๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ณ๐ฆ? ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ต ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฌ๐ช๐ฅ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ด๐ค๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ญ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ ๐ธ๐ช๐ต๐ฉ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ฑ๐ข๐ณ๐ต๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ณ. ๐ ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฉ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐ฃ๐ฐ๐ถ๐จ๐ฉ๐ต ๐ต๐ธ๐ฐ ๐บ๐ฆ๐ข๐ณ๐ด ๐ข๐จ๐ฐ. ๐๐ฉ๐บ'๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ท๐ฆ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ธ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ญ-๐ฑ๐ข๐บ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ซ๐ฐ๐ฃ? ๐๐ฉ๐บ'๐ฅ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ด๐ฑ๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ค๐ฉ ๐ฐ๐ฏ ๐ข ๐ค๐ข๐ณ?
One of my favourites, Brene, refers to the Roosevelt speech about the man in the arena. But when it comes to guiding friends, clients, (and myself!) through this stuff, I love this part: "It's not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better."
(The speech goes on to describe the courage and the vulnerability of the man in the arena.)
But the critic is the one sitting in the stands - in the cheap seats - with popcorn, throwing taunts and judgment. It may be masked as "feedback" but, unless they're in the arena with you, unless the life they're living is one you respect, admire, or aspire to, then their feedback is not welcome. It is just unwanted opinions.
So, if you find yourself wobbled by some opinions or some "feedback" from those around you, ask yourself if it's coming from the cheap seats or from the arena. And then proceed accordingly.