26/11/2025
We’re all sold this picture-perfect holiday fantasy: matching pajamas, cheerful baking, peaceful family meals, everyone smiling like a Hallmark card. But for so many of us — especially those parenting neurodivergent kids — the reality is… very different.
Think: meltdowns, sensory overload, too much noise, too many transitions, too many demands, and you trying to keep it all together with a smile. If the holidays feel chaotic or exhausting for you, please hear this: nothing is wrong with you or your child. The expectations are unrealistic.
Before we start trying to “fix” anything, it helps to pause and tell the truth about how the holidays have actually felt: burnout by mid-December, overstimulation, pressure to “make it magical,” kids falling apart from nonstop demands, and family members who don’t get your child’s needs.
There is real power in naming your lived experience. You can’t make the season gentler if you don’t start from honesty and compassion.
Step 1: Find Your Deep Why
Ask yourself: What do I actually want this season to feel like?
Maybe it’s connection. Maybe it’s rest. Maybe it’s just “less conflict, please.”
Your Deep Why becomes your anchor when everything feels loud or emotional. If something doesn’t support that Deep Why… it doesn’t need to stay.
Step 2: Name the Demands
The holidays are FULL of demands we don’t even notice until we’re drowning in them — sensory demands, social demands, emotional demands, routine changes, performance expectations.
Once you name them, you can stop blaming yourself and start adjusting the environment.
Step 3: Ask Why This Demand Matters
Not every demand is bad — but every demand costs something.
Ask yourself:
• Why do I feel pressure to do this?
• Whose expectation is this?
• Does this support our Deep Why?
• Does this help my child stay regulated?
If the only reason something exists is guilt or tradition or “we’ve always done it this way”… you’re allowed to set it down.
Step 4: Listen to Your Child
Our kids’ nervous systems are constantly telling us what they can and can’t handle, their sensory cues, their pacing, their overwhelm signals.
When we build holidays around the child we actually have, instead of the child others expect, we see less conflict, fewer meltdowns, and more peace.
Your child’s needs aren’t inconveniences. They’re information.
Step 5: Drop Demands Proactively
Instead of waiting for everything to fall apart, try dropping demands ahead of time. It really does make the whole season smoother.
Maybe that looks like:
• skipping an event
• shortening an outing
• choosing super simple meals
• saying “no” without overexplaining
• letting a tradition rest this year
Less pressure = fewer meltdowns + more peace.
Step 6: Meet Your Own Needs
Your needs matter just as much as your child’s.
Your energy, sensory tolerance, sleep, capacity, and emotional bandwidth all shape the holiday ecosystem at home.
When you care for yourself — even in tiny ways — you bring more regulation, more connection, and more stability to your family.
What if this season didn’t break you??
A meaningful holiday doesn’t come from doing more — it comes from doing what actually matters.
When you follow your Deep Why, drop unnecessary demands, listen to your child, and honor your own needs, you create a season that’s sustainable and kind.
You’re allowed to rewrite the script.
Low-demand holidays are holidays with room to breathe.
