27/01/2026
Credit to Surviving Grief - Gary Sturgis ♥️
“For a long time, I honestly thought grief was something I was supposed to get past. Like a river I needed to cross as quickly as possible, or a storm I just had to wait out, or some phase I had to complete so I could get back to ‘normal.’
Well…none of that worked. Because grief doesn’t actually work that way.
What finally helped me make sense of it was looking at grief differently, something I’ve come to think of as the ‘Grief Bridge’. Not a bridge you race across. Not one you conquer. Not even one you want to step onto. But a bridge you eventually realize is the only way forward.
Most of us are taught, directly or indirectly, that grief is the enemy. Fight it. Fix it. Suppress it. Get over it. So we do what we’ve been conditioned to do, we resist it, push it down, and tell ourselves we should be doing better by now.
But I’ve learned the hard way that the more you fight grief, the louder it gets. It doesn’t disappear because we ignore it, and it doesn’t shrink because we pretend we’re fine. It just waits, and then shows up anyway, usually when we’re tired, alone, or least expecting it.
Here’s the thing…the Grief Bridge isn’t about escaping grief.
It’s about entering a new way of living. On one side of the bridge is the life you had before loss. On the other side is a life that will never be the same but can still be meaningful and connected.
Crossing the bridge doesn’t mean you leave grief behind. It means you carry it with you, not as a burden, but as part of who you are now. And yes, that idea can feel scary, because grief can feel like it will swallow everything if we let it.
But grief doesn’t replace joy. It learns to live beside it.
One of the biggest myths about grief is that joy is a betrayal. That laughing means forgetting. That smiling means you didn’t love deeply enough. That happiness somehow erases the person you lost.
It doesn’t.
Joy and sorrow aren’t opposites. They’re companions. You can miss someone terribly and still have moments of happiness. You can carry heartbreak and still experience moments of peace.
That’s what life looks like on the other side of the Grief Bridge. Not grief-free. But fuller. Deeper. More honest.
And crossing happens slowly. No one drags you across. Some days you take a step forward. Some days you sit down halfway across and cry. Some days you turn around and look back.
And…all of that counts.
Gary Sturgis – Surviving Grief
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