28/01/2026
School Refusal: when going back to school feels impossible
As school returns, many families are quietly struggling with school refusal.
School refusal isn’t “naughtiness”, laziness, or bad parenting. It’s a stress response and it can be heartbreaking for both the child and the parent.
What school refusal can look like:
• Big emotions before school (panic, tears, anger, shutdown)
• Physical symptoms (tummy aches, headaches, nausea)
• Difficulty sleeping before school days
• Clinging, refusal to get dressed, or running away/hiding
• A child who wants to do well, but feels completely overwhelmed
For children, school can feel unsafe, unpredictable, or too much for their nervous system.
For parents, it can feel exhausting, isolating, guilt-filled, and frightening especially when you’re trying everything and nothing seems to work.
💔 Many parents tell us:
“I don’t know whether to push or protect.”
“I’m scared of making it worse.”
“No one understands how hard this is.”
You are not alone and you are not failing your child.
Some gentle, supportive strategies that can help:
❤️Focus on connection before correction
❤️Stay calm and regulated your nervous system helps settle theirs
❤️Validate feelings without reinforcing fear (“I can see this is really hard”)
❤️Break mornings into small, manageable steps
❤️Work with the school to reduce pressure and expectations where possible
❤️Seek support early school refusal is easier to address when caught early
School refusal is a signal not a behaviour problem.
With the right support, children can return to learning and confidence at their own pace.
If this sounds like your family, support is available,
Contact Candise on 0417457357 appointments are available.
