13/11/2025
Horses hear "no" so often. Often we don't even hear them ask a question. We see a behaviour and we say stop. No conversation, just a person that uses defensive language or reaction to what could have been conversive because they forget the sentience of the horse.
I was working on some of the herd the other day and Diamond kept expressing he wanted the gate opened. He wasn't being rude, it was a question. After the third ask, I had acknowledge each one but I was working on another horse, I stopped what I was doing and actually moved over and addressed him. Considering what he may have wanted, he wanted to go through it. I said ok let's see what you want to see, your safe on the other side of it. Which was inside the feed shed.
He moved slowly and gently, and explored the area with curiosity. To keep him safe I stood nearby and allowed him to continue. After a little while he wandered off and had a little graze on the gass along the driveway. It was so interesting to see him soften when he got a yes, why not. He got an "I trust you, its ok" instead of a no, and even better than that he wasnt told off for asking.
It made me think about childhood, and how many people I work with that just had a rigid no at every point in childhood. Eventually they shut off their curiosity, they stop asking for anything and eventually they no longer know how to ask for help.
The flow on is huge, for horses and people alike.
It is something that flows through into adulthood. Most of my clients are above 40 and they speak to these things regularly, and can recognise how they were "trained behaviours" from childhood that were meant to keep them inline and make life easier for the parent. They weren't meant to be how they behaved for ever. Yet shutting someone down is so impactful. There is a way to through it though. New conversations just like I had with Diamond, where he asked and got a yes and he got connection because we went together.
There is great power in being seen, heard, felt and understood. I love how horses are always showing, teaching and reminding me. 🥰