Soothing Conversations with Chantal

22/12/2025

What a beautiful find. The magic of nature. Something you rarely get to experience.

On the ground. Empty. The season is over.

It is so soft to the touch. One colourful feather from a parrot used.

Today was a day when all I wanted to do was curl up. Feeling the grief around the first Christmas without my mother.

I want to be in this nest. Cocooned. Warm. Cosy.

It brought tears to my eyes - an empty nest. I feel empty, too. It is exquisite and painful.

It is about being able to hold both.

21/12/2025

You are the sum of all parts. Creating art pushes your boundaries. Perfectionism. Stemming from childhood and trauma.

20/12/2025

If you prefer to listen to a podcast rather than read my Substack post on what Christmas can mean and what happens behind the scenes, here is the link to my conversation with Ange De Lumiere on hers called True Spirituality with Ange.

'Whatever your reason for grieving, Chantal and I offer lived experience, share stories and tips on how to cope with it. We also give tips for people who know people who are grieving and who might not know how to best support them.'

Ange and I end up going to the most unexpected places to explore with rawness, openness and no sugar coating.

Podcast Episode · True Spirituality with Ange · 19/12/2025 · 1h

19/12/2025

How Christmas 🎄 is affected through childhood trauma, grief, and childlessness.

Sharing from my heart - raw, unedited, honest on my latest Substack post.

This is also the first without my mother and estranged from the family.

Big milestones.

In addition, I was interviewed by Ange, on her podcast, True Spirituality with Ange, where she also shares her story.

So many of us are affected but don't know how to talk about it and change the narrative and do what is best for you.

https://chantalvanderhaeghen.substack.com/p/no-carols-no-presents-no-expectation

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19/12/2025

Grief turns up in your sleep.

In your dreams.

Leaves you feeling disorientated.

When you desperately want a break.

Yet, these dreams can also have meaning.

Showing your way forward.

Helping your release the past.

Letting go of old patterns. Beliefs. Way of being.

Simply notice.

Breathe.

Write. Create. Dance it out.

And trust that something in you is already loosening.

Creating space for what is to come next.

18/12/2025

'And then there was me, as a little girl, quietly wondering how on earth Father Christmas would find us. No chimney. No rooftop access. So much snow. An apartment block where nothing magical could land. Trying to create enchantment in an environment that felt anything but enchanted.'

Christmas time is stressful for so many people experiencing domestic violence.

This is from my next post on Substack being sent out in the next couple of days.

A front is created. Stress is heightened. Everyone is on high alert.
Know you are not alone.

There will also be a link to a podcast I was interviewed on by Ange De Lumiere about my experience around Christmas with respect to my childhood, the first one without my mother, and not being a mother. And hers as a mother not being able to have the Christmases she wanted with her children.

Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash

18/12/2025

It is exciting what reveals itself as you work through grief and trauma.

You find things out about yourself you had no idea existed. You let go of parts of that no longer belong in your life now.

It is freeing.

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17/12/2025

It isn't easy to describe CPTSD when you don't know what is happening in your body. I didn't for years. It can still affect me from time to time. But now I know who to support and love myself. There has been a lot of grief around this.

16/12/2025

Something beautiful does arise out of the darkness of grief and trauma.

It takes time to see it. But it is there.

It shows itself quietly as a gentle remembering of who you are beneath the pain.

Where survival once dominated, something precious begins to awaken.

You.

15/12/2025

Sometimes you just need to have a break and eat an ice cream.

A moment of delight and deliciousness right there when you are feeling down, sad, or wistful.

12/12/2025

When my mother died earlier this year, I had no idea that one of my siblings and their spouse would turn me.

Because grief has a way of stirring things. The past comes to haunt you. Particularly if you haven’t dealt with it.

I had no idea what had hit me. Initially, I reacted going straight back into a familiar place of defending and justifying. Trying to get my point of view and truth across.

Then I let go. It took courage. But the relief and release was huge.

You can sign up to Substack for free and there is no need to write anything. You can simply read notes and subscribe to receive my posts in your email box. I send one out a week.

When grief stirs conflict, your calm is your strength.