Florence Rosenthal, Registered Psychotherapist

12/24/2024

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10/15/2024

❤️🌼❤️Christine…

04/04/2024

It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.
"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh.
"Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.
"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."
Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really, okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, Alone, and Not Much Fun to Be Around At All, would you now."
Pooh glanced at Piglet, and Piglet glanced at Pooh, and they both settled, one on each side of Eeyore in his twig abode.
Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"
"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun to Be Around at All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are."
"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.
Because Pooh and Piglet were There.
No more; no less.
(A.A. Milne, E.H. Shepard)

04/04/2024

When we have been lucky enough to experience early secure attachment or to have “earned” it later on in life, we are comfortable with ourselves.

We can tolerate our failings and those of others, recover from painful events, forgive ourselves or others for acting badly, and catch ourselves before we perseverate on negative judgments. We are connected to ourselves rather than alienated. However, for some of us, alienation from self early on was essential to survival.

Alienation from self can be adaptive genius: if we disown the part of ourselves holding the pain of rejection, then we can bring to the table just those aspects of self that are acceptable in that environment, parts that can win any available sense of attachment or praise.

It is a brilliant survival strategy but one that comes up short once the demands of adult life call for qualities or actions not available to the parts that helped us survive.

04/04/2024

Great thing to reflect on: if an adult can’t communicate, express their anger, or cope with frustration— why would a 7 year old be able to? Children’s nervous system capacity is shaped by the interactions they watch and receive. When overstimulated, children intuitively look to the adults around them. What they’re saying is “help me make sense of this” and “am I safe?” A regulated adult can see the child’s capacity as different from their own. They don’t see their children’s tears or tantrums as a personal insult or disrespect. Or something to dismiss. They don’t expect children to be robots or stoic. Their emotional stability manifests as consistent behavior. The child learns: “this adult I can trust. I know how they’ll react”

Instead of punishing or shaming, they can help the child through big emotions. And at the end of the interaction, there’s a deeper connection. A chronically dysregulated adult cannot cope with frustration or tantrums. They see their child’s emotions as a burden and use punishment in an attempt to quickly get them out of that emotion. This works— temporarily. Usually because the child is filled with fear. But after the interaction there is a loss of trust and connection for that child.

We need to as a society take a look in the mirror and see where our level of regulation is currently at. Then, we need to develop patience for children who are still learning to cope with boredom, confusion, rejection, and the daily disappointments in life.

By being the calm stable presence we change the future generation

04/04/2024

The art of saying no by Sugar & Sloth

04/04/2024

04/04/2024

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