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Dear Emily, Julie and Rachel

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Dear Emily, Julie and Rachel

My name is Jessica Shaw, mother of Emily, Julie and Rachel. My girls were ripped from my care in 2014

03/25/2025

The Final Decision is hanging in the balance and I have no assurance that anything written will be carried out, but the hard and hurt of knowing nothing was achieved in the last 7 years and I'm no closer to repair or to any type of resolution is hitting me hard. I have proven to be supported by the law, but they can only empathize, with no corrective action. I'm still heartbroken. Time is all I have left to beg for, for it to pass, to wait for your curiosity to kick in and you try to find answers to your questions about your real mommy. I'm so sorry. I'm right here girls. I love each one of your so dearly. 💔💔💔
Be strong and be safe, you are so so loved. 💖💖💖🙏

02/20/2025

Feb 18th 2025 💫🩷🩷🩷 Three times my heart walked right past me...It's been 7 years, and 2 months, shy a day, (Dec 19th 2017) since I last held you each in my arms for the longest most heartbreaking hugs. I knew it would be a some time, til I saw you girls again, but not years, not 7 years. 😭 To say it's been too long is an understatement and not how I pictured it.
I felt like a ghost, a shadow of the real me, standing outside conversations with the family I created, looking in without me there. I didn't understand until I reminded myself that my parents treat me like I am already dead. My family outside of my parents were loving and greatful for my presence and I will continue to show up for my loved ones. I know this was not the best way to see each other, but my God, I am so thankful just the same. My heart was doing somersaults and I'm still blown away and processing.
I wanted more than anything to embrace you girls and I hope you know I did my best to respect you and the space, until we can meet again. May this find you and encourage you to reach out and know me yourself. I absolutely love you to the moon and back Emily, Julie and Rachel. 🩷🩷🩷 You girls are my world and I will continue to stay true for you. With all my love, Mom.

01/17/2025

Another year...it's hard to summon the fight when all you want is internal peace. I've spent too many nights this past year clenching my jaw and holding back mass amounts of pain and a deep sense of hopelessness. It's just not natural to live each day as if things are fine when in my head and most certainly in my heart - 'things' are not fine by a long shot. Promise you won't give up on me and I will do my absolute best to remain in tact until I get back to you. Please forgive me for naive choices I made almost 11 years ago. I never meant for those situations to keep us apart like this. It's crushing. It's a pain like no other. I know you are 20mins away by car, but you girls might as well be on another planet the way the courts are handling my case. I can not just show up on your door step and announce my presence without serious consequences. My parents, your "parents" have made sure that I do not cross that threshold. I've lost my connection to you Emily and I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you and your sisters when things change. God help us. 🙏❤️🩷🩷🩷

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