05/01/2026
Somewhere along the way, we stopped playing.
Not just with our kids — with each other.
I sat down with Dr. Kim Van Dusen this week and what started as a conversation about parenting cracked open into something I think about a lot in my own marriage:
Kids connect through play. Adults are told play is for kids. So we trade silliness for taskmastering — sleep, play, food, sleep, play, food — and one day we look up and realize we don’t quite know how to be light with the people we love most.
What Dr. Kim and I talked about is that play isn’t a luxury. It’s how a nervous system finds its way back to safety. It’s how a child knows they’re seen. It’s how two partners stop bracing and start trusting again.
What I notice in my office is that the couples who feel most disconnected are often the ones who’ve forgotten how to laugh with each other. Not because the love is gone. Because life got loud.
The shift isn’t about doing more. It’s about letting yourself be a little silly. A little soft. A little less “in charge” — at bedtime, at dinner, at 9pm on the couch with your partner.
If this lands, the full conversation is on the podcast this week. Comment 246 and I’ll send you the link.
