Jennifer Finestone Psychotherapy & Facilitation Services

06/25/2022

Kristen Neff highlights the two parts of self-compassion in order to care for ourselves so we can show up fully in the world. The tender part includes mindfully acknowledging our feelings, remembering that suffering is part of the shared human condition, and being kind to ourselves. The fierce part includes protecting ourselves by setting boundaries, providing for our needs, and motivating ourselves to take action. It’s important to find a balance of the two.

At the heart of my book, Fierce Self-Compassion - I break down self-compassion into two different branches: tender self-compassion and fierce self-compassion - as shown in the graphic by above! This explains the difference between the two and why both are needed for balance:⁠
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"The quintessential question of self-compassion is 'What do I need right now?' and more specifically 'What do I need to help alleviate my suffering?' The answer to this question changes depending on the circumstances. Sometimes what we need is to accept ourselves in all our human imperfection, to love ourselves as we are in the moment. But that doesn’t mean we necessarily want to stay as we are in the moment. If a herd of cattle is stampeding toward you, it’s not the time for self-acceptance, it’s time for action. ⁠
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If tender self-compassion is metaphorically like a parent soothing his crying child, fierce self-compassion is like Momma Bear who ferociously protects her cubs when threatened, or catches fish to feed them, or moves them to a new territory with better resources. Just as tenderness can be turned inward so that we nurture and care for ourselves, the fierce energy of Momma Bear can also be turned inward to stand up for ourselves.⁠
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What’s essential is that these two faces of self-compassion are balanced and integrated so that we can be whole. When both are present, it creates a caring force that can be used to transform ourselves and the world around us."

10/21/2021

I'm excited to be facilitating this important webinar hosted by the Centre of Excellence on PTSD. It has collaborated with Dr. Rob Whitley on guidelines to assist journalists reporting on the veteran experience. Join us for a fascinating presentation and panel discussion. Les services d'interprétation simultanée seront fournis sur demande et les questions en français sont bienvenues.

Veterans and the Media

10/10/2021

Le 10 octobre est la Journée mondiale de la santé mentale. Comme le premier ministre du Canada a dit, je crois que « La gentillesse, la compassion et la compréhension sont essentielles si nous voulons instaurer une culture qui permette de parler ouvertement de santé mentale et de remettre en question les attitudes qui perpétuent la stigmatisation et le jugement. » SVP, prenez bien soin de vous.

10/05/2021

A fascinating research project that resulted in 6 video stories about the challenges and strengths of people in the Kahnawake Mohawk Territory caring for cancer patients.

The Kahnawake Mohawk Territory is a First Nations reserve of the Mohawks of Kahnawá:ke on the south shore of the Saint Lawrence River in Quebec, across from Montreal In Kahnawake, just about everyone knows everyone - either as a family relation, co-worker, friend or neighbour. But despite the close...

07/19/2021

This is a wonderful movie about the impact trauma has on our lives - often shaping our beliefs & behaviours - and the compassion we need to have for ourselves. Worth watching and free from July 28 through August 1.

Watch The Wisdom of Trauma Movie on July 28-August 1, Featuring DR. GABOR MATÉ Plus a 7-day teaching series on trauma with leading experts!

07/09/2021

We’re at the halfway mark of our six-episode Summer Sister Series on “The Gifts of Imperfection,” and this week Ashley, Barrett, and I talk about how scary it can be to lean into joy and how many people “live disappointed” rather than risk “feeling disappointed.”

Constantly planning and preparing for pain doesn’t make the hurt go away when hard things happen. Squandering joy just means we have fewer stored-up moments of goodness to fall back on when we need them.

Practicing gratitude allows us to lean into the moment rather than be derailed by our fear that joy is only temporary. spoti.fi/UnlockingUs

06/01/2021

Emotional freedom technique (EFT) or tapping can be a great resource to help reduce anxiety or other challenging emotions or physical symptoms. This is a free series to learn the basics easily and help manage past, current, and future stressors.

Home / Events Register Now Radical Resilience with Tapping: a simple body-grounding and stress release technique When we suppress awareness of our negative and unexpressed emotions, they are still active and alive inside us. They can give us the physical signals and sensations of nervousness, restle...

05/06/2021

The Council on Palliative Care is offering two virtual workshops that you might be interested in. One focuses on funerals and pre-planning during covid. The other is about supporting healthy grieving during the pandemic.

To coincide with Palliative Care Week The Council on Palliative Care will present two virtual workshops on how the COVID-19 pandemic affects grieving. Thursday, May 6th at 5:00pm Funerals and Pre-arrangements During the Pandemic Danny Hum A brief portrait of our presenter: Over 25 years of service a...

04/29/2021

As we continue to adjust to the ongoing uncertainty of the pandemic, vaccines are bringing some hope for moving forward. This free Life After COVID event might prove helpful.

Free 3-Day Online Summit on Life After COVID: Preparing Ourselves for a Post-Pandemic World, with Forrest Hanson and 11 world-class experts.

04/09/2021

This is a hard time full of uncertainty. Be gentle with yourself. Research has shown that self-compassion is ultimately more motivating than beating yourself up.

03/31/2021

March 31st is the Transgender Day of Visibility. The following may have some older statistics, but the challenges continue. If you're trans, please seek out community and support. If you're not, aim to be an ally.

03/09/2021

I really like Forrest Hanson (and (his dad, Dr. Rick Hanson). This video talks about neuroplasticity ie. the fact that the brain can be changed but also why it’s so hard to do so.

Here’s a quick summary on what he recommends:
1. Choose something you want to change – not what you think you should
2. Commit to incremental change – repetition is important
3. Focus on changing how you view yourself – you may need to update some internal beliefs

Everything you think, feel, and do is based on stuff that's happening in your brain. This means that by changing what happens in our brain, we can affect eve...