Kiar Counselling

09/24/2022

source:

06/26/2020

As of June 29th, 2020
Judy Kiar Counselling

Will be changing locations.
For information on this or to book an appointment, email:

judy@judykiar.com
judykiar@me.com
or call:
613-271-8880

05/27/2020

Defensive is very destructive to relationships.

Long-lasting love requires courage. The courage to be vulnerable and to listen non-defensively, even in the heat of conflict. When the listener reacts to what the speaker is saying before the speaker gets the chance to fully explain themselves, both partners are left feeling misunderstood.

What's the key to listening non-defensively? Self-soothe to listen. Discover tools to improve your non-defensive listening on the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/2TWosW3

03/25/2020

Hey parents at home with little ones. I know you’re stressed out and have no idea how you are going to manage for possibly weeks at home without activities and play dates and outings. You’re worried about keeping them engaged and occupied but not stressed. You’re worried about their education. You’re worried about social isolation. You’re worried about friends and family members who may be alone or vulnerable. You’re worried about finances. You’re worried about working from home or possibly losing your job or not having an income for weeks or months. It’s a lot. No wonder you’re stressed. These are very scary times for all of us. We are not that comfortable not knowing what’s coming. The whole thing sucks!

Here’s what I suggest. LOWER your expectations for yourself. Give up on the idea of a clean house, or getting projects done, of being as productive as if you were at work. Give up on your rigidly held views on technology. Work really hard to go with the flow. Focus on getting through the day with your kids. Go outside for walks, especially if you can get off the beaten path and explore some woods or fields. Do crafts. Bake yummy treats. Try to do things with your kids so you can enjoy them and they can enjoy you. Take this as an opportunity to spend time with them. I know that sounds like a tall order, but really its not. If you just do that, there will be less fighting, crying and tantrums. You will feel less stressed. Just give up on all the non-essential tasks and hang out and have fun with your kids. You will all benefit from this. Don’t forget that everybody needs some down time during the day, so whether they are too old for naps or not, institute a quiet time of an hour or two, where everybody stays in their space and reads, draws, writes, daydreams or even sleeps, including you. Also, use technology when you need to, to catch a break, to quiet things down, to have time to make a meal. Try to be kind to YOURSELF. That is really really important!

Keep well and keep safe and have fun on this forced family time!

11/14/2019

This sums it up perfectly!

...and how acknowledging past hurts can help you better cope.

09/11/2019

A really important thing to remember.

The postpartum mother is recovering and trying to settle in with a new baby. Admire the infant, but please nurture and see the new mom too.

09/02/2019

Good strategy.

08/28/2019

Despite the pain and bruises inflicted by punching, kicking and worse mayhem, it is the scarring left by an emotionally abusive husband that is more likely to trigger a battered wife's decision to...

08/28/2019

Friendship is hard, but the best way to tackle it is to talk about it. In this episode, you'll learn from the experts about how to make new friends and deepen your existing relationships.

08/20/2019

More important than money...

Make deposits to your relationship's Emotional Bank Account with small, everyday gestures of appreciation, affection, and kindness.

Even responding to your partner saying, “That dog is cute,” with, “Yes, it is!” counts as a "deposit" and strengthens your emotional connection. Read more: http://bit.ly/2z7uiZB