My Psychological Wellness

05/03/2026

Saying ‘no’ is more than just words.

It’s an empowering action that helps you feel safe and valued as you navigate life. 🧭

But…

I get it. The thought of saying ‘no’ can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable.

It’s easy to feel like you’re letting other people down or even to fear their judgment if you say ‘no’. Our natural instinct is to please other people so that we feel loved and accepted.

Going against this instinct can feel jarring but it’s a vital way to maintain your boundaries and protect what truly matters.

It’s not selfish. It’s an act of self-care. 🤗

If you’d like to explore how to safeguard your boundaries and say ‘no’ with confidence, you can find out more or get in touch via my website:

www.mypsychologicalwellness.co.uk.

03/03/2026

02/03/2026

People rarely set out to sabotage their relationships or their careers, yet many find themselves repeating patterns that work against their own interests. It is often assumed this behaviour sits outside of conscious awareness.

From a transactional analysis perspective, Eric Berne suggested that our adult decisions are shaped by early childhood injunctions. These are the unspoken messages we absorb about who we are allowed to be and how safe it is to succeed, belong, or stand out. Messages like “don’t succeed,” “don’t be important,” or “don’t get it right” can become negative core beliefs that quietly influence behaviour long into adulthood.

However, Alfred Adler (Adlerien Psycholgy) proposed that behaviour is purposeful and goal-directed. From this viewpoint, what looks like self-sabotage may be an attempt to stay safe. If not doing well protects you from judgement, failure, or exposure, then holding back can feel like the sensible option.

So here is the question worth sitting with:

Have you made not being good enough the goal, because it feels safer than being fully seen?🤔

Self-sabotage is not a flaw or a lack of motivation. It is a strategy that once served a purpose. The work is understanding what that strategy is protecting you from and deciding whether you still need it.

If this resonates and you recognise these patterns in your own life, therapy can help bring them into awareness and create space for different choices.

You are welcome to get in touch to explore this further.

Https://www.mypsychologicalwellness.co.uk

Helping adults and children from all walks of life to discover the very best version of themselves.

02/03/2026

Ever looked at your browser after a hectic hour of research and thought, ‘Ah, that looks just like my brain?’ 😅

Life places so many demands on our mental bandwidth that it can be difficult to know when to close a mental tab. 🧠

But we don’t have infinite capacity, and it can be the ultimate act of self-care to close some tabs and come back to them later.

Giving yourself the space to process your thoughts and feelings is something we all deserve - and it might even help you figure out where that random 80s song has come from! 💪 🙃

28/02/2026

😁

This is me checking out the size of the mountain! 😳

Today I’m in the Lake District on my own, giving myself some much-needed rest and space. The plan is a forest walk, gentle and grounding, exactly what my nervous system asked for.

But there’s a choice point.

If I keep going, the path eventually leads to one of the Lake District’s 3,000-foot mountains. This route also happens to cover three Wainwrights. And that’s not accidental.

I’ve decided I’d like to walk all 214 of them.

Fourteen years ago, a truly wonderful man completed all 214 Wainwrights to raise money for the charity I set up in memory of my daughter, Katy. Watching him throughout that year, step by step, fell by fell, was deeply moving. His determination, his quiet commitment, his courage. Somewhere along the way, a seed was planted in me. One day, I thought, I’d like to do that too.

Life carried on. I’ve been busy. Busy surviving, busy parenting, busy living. Busy completing Katy's bucket list. And somewhere in all of that, I forgot that I have one of my own.

So today feels significant.
I’ll be honest, I’m nervous. I usually do these walks with my husband by my side. My body isn’t the body I used to know. Menopause has changed the rules, and I’m aching before I’ve even made it down the stairs.

Still, I’ve packed my bag. I’ve got my painkillers. I’ve got my boots on.

I don’t know yet whether I’ll do the big mountain. What I do know is that this is about mindset, not bravado. About listening carefully, choosing courage over fear, and not letting the story of “I can’t” get louder than the possibility of “maybe I can.”

I’ve got my earphones. I’ve got Audible. I’ll choose the right voice, the right words, and we’ll see if they carry me higher.

Forest or summit, today is about trusting myself again.
Today is day one.
🌲⛰️

Place your bets 😂

27/02/2026

Need to reduce your anxiety? 😩

Try this:

Slow your body down first.
Longer exhales than inhales.
Fewer inputs, not more coping tasks.
Bring your attention to what’s around you, not what might happen next.

Anxiety settles when the nervous system feels safer, not when you tell yourself to calm down.

Start with the body. The mind usually follows.

25/02/2026

Children don’t always have the words to explain what they’re feeling. So those feelings often come out as behaviour instead.

In my work with children, a big part of therapy is helping them name what’s going on inside - feelings that might otherwise feel confusing, overwhelming, or unsafe to express.

🧒When a child feels understood, behaviour often starts to shift.

🙎‍♀️And when parents understand what their child’s behaviour is communicating, it can change how they respond too.

Therapy isn’t about labelling or ‘fixing’ a child. It’s about helping them feel seen, and helping families make sense of what’s really being asked for underneath the behaviour.

If you’d like to know more about how I work with children and families, you can find more information or get in touch via my website:
www.MyPsychologicalWellness.co.uk

23/02/2026

When your brain is holding vital information and completely irrelevant nonsense at the same time, prioritising becomes almost impossible 😅

For many of us with ADHD, that’s where procrastination appears from.

It’s not because you don’t care (if anything you probably care too much), but because your brain is overloaded and can’t decide what matters most.

I notice this in myself too.

What helps isn’t pushing harder, but reducing the conflict. Removing some of the decisions.

Fewer tasks. One choice at a time.

Procrastination isn’t a character flaw.
It’s often a sign your attention system is full.

21/02/2026

A lot of people wait for closure to come from someone else ⏳

An apology.
An explanation.
A conversation that may never happen.

🙂 Psychology often works by helping people understand what they didn’t get at the time, so they’re not still searching for it years later.

Closure doesn’t always come from another person. It often comes from making sense of the past in a way that lets you move forward differently.

This is something I support people with regularly in therapy - not rushing the process, but understanding it well enough that it loosens its grip.

If you’d like to learn more, head to www.MyPsychologicalWellness.co.uk

19/02/2026

When we’re stressed, our communication is often the first thing to change.

That’s because stress shifts which part of the brain is in charge.

🧠 The amygdala (our threat system) becomes more active, while the prefrontal cortex (the part responsible for reasoning, perspective, and impulse control) becomes less available.

So we react more quickly. We speak before we think. We hear threats or criticism where there may not be any.

Communication under stress becomes more about protection than connection.

😮‍💨 This is why conversations can feel harder when we’re tired, overwhelmed, or emotionally stretched.

If you notice yourself snapping, shutting down, or feeling misunderstood, that isn’t a failure. It’s a nervous system under pressure.

✅ Often the most helpful question isn’t “What should I say?” It’s “How regulated am I right now?”

17/02/2026

📣UPDATE on Autism and ADHD Assessment Pathways in Lancashire and South Cumbria📍

We are aware that the recent changes to Autism and ADHD Pathways have caused significant concern for families and young people currently waiting for assessment.

Please visit our website for support and to provide feedback on these changes: https://bit.ly/UpdateADHDAutismHWL

17/02/2026

Pancake tossing is basically a lesson in uncertainty 🥞

You can prepare, line it up, and still have no idea how it’s going to land (Which is also true of most things in life).

But just because it doesn’t land quite in the perfect way you intended it to, doesn’t mean it's any less delicious.

You still end up with a pancake at the end.