01/08/2021
Hi everyone,
If You Aren't Living Your Dreams, Then You Are Living Your fears:
However you are CHOOSING to live I hope you are all enjoying the sunshine!
I thought I would pop in and try to answer a question I'm often asked by my clients.
It seems to me that this question is being asked more and more and people are blaming themselves for the hardships they have faced or are facing right now, in their lives.
The question: "Why do others always seem to get what they want, life just seems so easy for them and I have to struggle for everything I get? It's always been this way, what is it about me?"
The answer is as simple or as complex as YOU would like it to be.
The fear of changing what you already have can be so overwhelming you pull your past into your present without even being aware you are doing it.
The good news: IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!
It's how you have been conditioned to be, programmed if you like.
So the way I see it; of course you can change what is your present reality right now, but you cannot change the past.
that's simple right?
If you keep focusing on the past then you cannot change the present and certainly will not change the future. Again, simple!
Your belief that it is you that has somehow caused your past will perpetuate your belief that your future will play out the same way. Why? Because you are in it! You have witnessed it play out in your life over and over so you limit your expectations of change to "why would it be any different?"
It sounds simple because when you look at it, it is simple.
If you focus on what has already happened, by default it is still happening, YOU are making it happen, you are giving it life and you are stopping any good changes from taking place.
By giving it life you are stopping the 'good' being active in your present because you are feeding what you believe to be your 'normal', YOUR deserved existence.
Your fear of stepping into a reality where you are worth more than you have been led to believe you are can be so overwhelming it's easier to continue telling yourself you are just 'one of those people, Sh*t always happens to me'
It may seem harsh to say and to hear, but so are the negative words you have repeated over and over to yourself as you have been beating yourself up for years. The difference is those words have become normalised over the years so you don't see them as a defence of your limiting belief you see them as comfort and accept them as a way of life.
What would you rather say to yourself? "Sh*t always happens to me because I am one of those people, life has never been kind to me, I'm really unlucky" OR "I used to be one of those people... my life is mine and mine alone. I get to make my choices and good things always happen to me, I'm as lucky as the next person and what they have I can have. Things are always working in my favour, every challenge I have met and conquered so far has created the amazing person I am now and I will always meet and conquer any challenge life offers me because I am capable and worthy of the challenge. I am an expert on me and I have a lot to give. I have proved myself over and over."
Time to choose, which would you prefer to say to yourself every day?
Practice being kind to yourself, each time you feel that familiar pull to the same negative thinking patterns of how you cannot have good things in your life, how your life will never change, how everyones life seems so much easier than yours and how unfair that is, repeat how you "used to be one of those people"
Write it down, put it on post it notes where you can see it, put it in your diary, your bag, your wallet, take it with you everywhere, keep repeating it. Read it every day as many times as you remember too. Get in to the new habit of being kind to YOU.
Your focus on what has happened is creating what is happening. Change your focus.
Change your mind.
Change your life.
It's really up to you.
There's so many tools, techniques and strategies: Use the 66 No Formula, The 54321, The 'Its just a thought' technique.
The present and the future belongs to you, it's yours to do what you want with.
Live your dreams not your fears!
