Emerging Strength

02/11/2026

Relationships recovering from alcohol or drugs face many challenges. The most obvious and frequent one is this...

When you feel aligned and when you feel discord, it's really about values alignment versus values discord. Values are what's important to you.

It takes a distillation process to get clarity about values and be able to state that in one sentence or less.

Most partners don't have the where with all to hang in there for an hour long chat taking circuitous routes to dead ends and rabbit trails only to finally be able to say, I need ____________.

It's no wonder we argue so much.

Before you make a big relationship sin and talk too much, get clear about what is important to you and how you want to say it. Distill it down to short, sweet, and to the point.

Your talks will be much more productive and you will start enjoying them instead of dreading them.

02/11/2026

When you are in a relationship, notice when you act in the direction of your values, and when you act based on your fears?

You are the observer of your own experience. Choose wisely.

02/11/2026

A thought is just another sentence in your head.

02/10/2026

https://emergingstrength.com/blog/how-to-fix-roommate-syndrome--using-the-intimacy-ladder-to-reconnect

How to Fix Roommate Syndrome: Using the Intimacy Ladder to Reconnect It starts subtly. You are navigating the logistics of a shared life like mortgages, s

02/08/2026

Do you approach recovery like a puzzle?

You can do this, but it will create a specific kind of experience.

Alternatively, you can approach recovery like a sunset.

You can do this, but it will create a specific kind of experience.

Do you want to work recovery, like your wrestling to solve a puzzle or like you are appreciating a sunset?

02/04/2026

Your stage of recovery is determined by the way you behave, attitudes you hold, and how you act when a drink or drug would make things feel better temporarily.

Will he drink or won't he?

This question is at the heart of how to recover.

How do you deal with an unsolvable problem?

Unsolvable means it is ambiguous. It isn't clear. Sit with that discomfort long enough and you are going to want relief. We all know what brings relief, along with ten thousand other things.

So what do you do with all this discomfort?

Take action toward being the person who is worth something even when it's uncomfortable or ambiguous.

02/01/2026

Transition to recovery isn't always simple. Partners who love someone at the beginning stage of recovery can find themselves feeling as if they have nothing in common with their partner, beyond wanting addiction out of their lives.

All this recovery can be consuming. Take a breathe. Stop evaluating and judging. Let go of expectations and observe without judgment.

The slower you go, the faster you will get somewhere in your relationship.

Let me explain.

There is an uncomfortable thing that both of you feel and want to get away from. That's understandable. But sitting with it, can teach you a lot. It might teach you about the suffering you both share from uncomfortable stuff. Getting in touch with that can put you on the same side, in the same boat, on the same page. It's the two of you for a life as it is, uncomfortable and together.

Turn that corner of recovery by learning to be uncomfortable and accepting one another through it.

01/31/2026

This is not a political post. This is about preparation. It makes me think about other people groups who made choices about their social world. The Amish, Native American Tribes, etc. We have choices to make. That requires accepting reality as it is. In a world changing faster than ever, this is no easy or comfortable task.

AI Revolution: The Case for Universal Basic Income

Universal Basic Income (UBI) is no longer a liberal fantasy, but a necessity to prevent social fracture and buy time as AI continues to replace jobs faster than institutions can adapt.

01/31/2026

In a 2001 interview James Hetfield said , “I wouldn’t say I’m an alcoholic – but then, you know, alcoholics say they’re not alcoholics.”

We do recovery work at Emerging Strength and we don't think "alcoholic" or "alcoholism" are useful terms.

Many people trying to build a life they love are getting stuck around this "condition" because it isn't their identity.

We like to help people be who they are rather than convincing them of something they are not.

If you drink too much, too often, for too long it doesn't mean your an alcoholic; It means change is in your best interest.

You can change.

01/30/2026

Early recovery has many pitfalls but the one I see most is sometimes called the pink cloud.

The pink cloud is like seeing through rose colored glasses. You think everything is rosy and wonderful. You expect that because you did this or that you wont slip, screw up, or relapse.

Perfection is your enemy. You are human and you will do less than perfect things. Learn to accept without judgment. It is what it is.

Whether you are doing a 12 step program, seeing a therapist, or some other routine keep in mind that all the tasks are no guarantee of success or a life without suffering.

If you love someone in early recovery, you can have pink cloud expectations too. Things will not all be wonderful because they are in a program. Learn to accept without judgment. It is what it is.

How do we learn to accept that it is what it is without judgment?

We do this with mindfulness. Mindfulness is a state of observation where we are aware of our changing moods, thoughts, emotions, sensations, and expectations.

We become observers. We notice. And this helps us commit to living a rich and meaningful life.

01/30/2026

It's Friday, I want to share with you one of the most elegant ways to gain emotional control. When your nervous system is escalating it's time to act. Frustrations, irritability, and flooding with shut us down. We will close off rather than open up. That prevents learning, and high performance. Try this...

Don't get frustrated...Get Fascinated.

Fascination opens us up, let's us see more information, and become curious to learn. That is a secret to growth.

01/25/2026

Have you considered the importance of margin in your life?

A moat is a margin that protects you from those things in life that try to invade your peace.

Mindfulness is like a moat. It creates space so we can respond rather than react. We can execute a plan instead of living in chaos. Mindfulness helps us create a space in the whirlwind of our inner experience.

What could change for you with a little breathing room, a little space, a mental moat?