Emily Polak, PhD

02/10/2024

I recently read and appreciated this idea: There’s no such thing as a bad emotion—only bad reactions to emotions.

Don’t make yourself wrong for having a feeling. Recognize that you didn’t choose the feeling but you can choose how you respond to it.

04/29/2023

Anxiety stressing you out? Try telling yourself that the thing you're afraid of WILL happen and then reassure yourself that you can handle it. That takes away the energy from the worrying and ‘what ifs’.

Anxiety decreases when you remember that you're a capable person.

04/15/2023

I heard the idea recently that curiosity is a cure for social anxiety. When you’re focused on discovering who the other person is, you get to stop worrying what they think about you. This conscious change of focus has the potential to alter the dynamic of any interpersonal interaction. Try it out and let me know how it goes!

04/08/2023

"Every time you’re given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job, throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself."
Glennon Doyle to her daughter

This quote just came back to me via Tim Ferriss' weekly email and reminded me that this an important lesson that many of us never internalize. We spend our lives trying not to disappoint others in order to be liked and accepted, but we aren't aware of how often we don't prioritize our own needs.

So here's a challenge: Practice disappointing someone. It may feel hard and scary but the only way to strengthen a muscle is to use it. You got this! 💪🏼

08/02/2022

Excited to share some thoughts on how to make mental health a priority at work

Talking about mental health, especially at the office, used to be taboo. However, in the last few years, discussing emotional wellbeing and stress management has (thankfully) become much more common, both in and out of the workplace.

03/26/2022

Science Saturday

Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to change by forming new neural connections. Gray matter can shrink or thicken. Neural connections can be created or broken.

Each time we try something new, whether it's a sport, an instrument, or a gratitude practice, there is a change in our physical brains--new neural pathways are formed.

This means that at any age, you have the power to become more open, peaceful, and satisfied (or whatever quality feels important to you). You can literally change your brain through practicing different ways of thinking and acting. It is never too late to start doing things differently.

01/24/2022

Self-Talk Sunday

"When you change your words, you change your world."

I recently came across this quote and it resonated big time.

Do you talk down to yourself?

Do you say things like:
“I can’t do anything right.”
“I should be better than this.”
“I’m such an idiot”

How you talk to yourself matters. This kind of critical language makes it hard to feel good about yourself. If you treat yourself with the same kindness you would a dear friend, you'll be surprised how much better life can feel.

12/18/2021

Friday Fundamentals

Did you know that most people struggle with at least one of four major core fears? They are: worthiness, trust, abandonment, and commitment.

You might identify primarily with one of them or you might struggle with several. For me, it's always been worthiness--feeling like I'm not enough. Struggling does not make you less than anyone else, it makes you human. And being kind to yourself helps.

11/18/2021

Thoughtful Thursday

So often we think of being thoughtful as doing something kind or generous for someone else. There’s no reason why we can’t be thoughtful towards ourselves. What’s a gesture you could take today that would show that you’re worthy of kindness too?

10/28/2021

Wisdom Wednesday

The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change. ~ Carl Rogers

10/19/2021

Tune-In Tuesday

Are you curious about what’s happening inside you? It’s natural to focus on all the things happening around us but there’s tremendous value in taking some time to look inward. If you take a moment to tune-in, you may notice there is also a world of inner experiences happening--thoughts, feelings, sensations, etc.

When I pause, I notice myself exhaling audibly with a sigh, which feels like releasing a bit of heaviness. When you pause and tune inward, what do you find?