01/11/2026
Often, the pain in relationships
doesnโt come only from having wounds.
Most of us do.
It comes from letting those wounds take the wheel.
From choosing closeness based on familiarity, not health.
From mistaking intensity for genuine connection.
From tolerating what hurts because, on some level, it feels known.
Form choosing from neediness, driven by unresolved wounds,
like fear of abandonment, fear of scarcity, fear of not being enough.
When old pain decides who we attach to,
more often than not, we donโt choose partners,
friends, or dynamics that are healthy.
Instead, we repeat patterns.
And repetition feels safer than uncertainty,
even when it costs us our inner peace, and fulfillment.
Certainly, healing doesnโt mean pretending the wounds arenโt there.
It means learning to pause before they decide for us.
To ask whether what feels "familiar" is actually healthy.
And to choose from awareness, not the impulse of our wounds.
Because wounds donโt just hurt.
When left unattended,
they quietly shape our standards, our boundaries,
the carrier, friendship, and love we believe we deserve.
Also, there are times where wounds speak
the language of the Past.
So, when a wound dictates a decision,
it is usually an attempt to fix history
that is already past,
and we tend to attach on that past shadow.
And ironically, even though people think that
clinging to this shadow will save them from
their pain, it is fact the very thing that
makes the pain worse.
On the other hand,
choosing from conscious standards,
disciplines us emotionally
and strengthens our character.
๐ Share it with a friend who needs to hear this.
๐พ Save it as a reminder
โ Follow for more daily reflections
๐If this resonates, the book๐๐8 ๐๐ค๐ญ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฉ๐ฉ๐๐ง๐ฃ๐จ ๐๐๐๐ฉ ๐๐๐๐ฅ ๐๐ค๐ช ๐๐ฃ ๐๐ค๐ค๐ฅ๐จ.
explores how these wounds form, and how to stop letting them choose your relationships.
Available on Amazon โฌ๏ธ
https://amzn.to/3LyQ9BD