AK Psychotherapy

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AK Psychotherapy

bio.site/alyssakushnerlcsw

LCSW in NYC, NJ, DC, & MD passionate about supporting teens and adults with relational & complex trauma, ptsd, anxiety, burn out, codependency, people pleasing, and alcohol use.

11/23/2025

Every year I give some reminders that the holidays can be quite overhelming and stressful! So much pressure to feel jolly and grateful, lots of plan, extra family time, highlighting of where you feel you were “supposed to be.”
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ESP for people pleasers and empaths which I’ll certainly be talking about more all week.⁣
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In this post I break down why they’re so impactful in general and also why for people pleasers it can be double triggering.⁣
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I also talk about some reminders to get you through!⁣
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And in my blog,⁣I go into depth on all of it plus extra tips!⁣
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Check it out https://www.ak-psychotherapy.com/blog-posts/why-the-holidays-feel-so-stressful⁣
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Or link in bio 🍂

11/21/2025

Here are some small tangible ways to give yourself a little kindness 💕 esp around holidays and seasonal changes - be good to yourself!!! You deserve it

11/20/2025

Resentment is often the last line of defense after we’ve over-given, over-functioned, or ignored our own needs.⁣
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It’s not a failure - it’s information.⁣
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It’s a signal to come back to yourself.⁣
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Same with bitterness, simmering anger, and suppressed emotion! ⁣
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These are all SIGNALS to be listened to.

11/19/2025

Inner child work is about giving yourself the validation, compassion, and needs you didn’t get growing up.⁣
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It’s also about permission to be a kid again and play and just have fun!⁣
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Here are some mantras if you’re doing this type of work.

11/18/2025

Avoidant attachment isn’t just being “distant” or even “cold.” ⁣
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It’s a nervous system going, “Closeness feels good… but also too much and too overwhelming.”⁣
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You can care deeply about someone and still feel the urge to retreat the moment things get intimate.⁣
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That doesn’t make you cold. It makes you someone who had to learn self-protection early.⁣
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And you can unlearn it, slowly, with safety!⁣
And if you’re on the receiving end of it…it doesn’t mean they don’t care or love you. ⁣
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It can be shifted and changed but does require work and the desire to get therapy. ⁣

11/17/2025

When your body hasn’t learned what safety feels like, even healthy relationships can feel overwhelming.⁣
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Your anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong - it means something old is being activated. ⁣
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You fear rejection, abandonment, and being hurt. And so every micro movement may signal to you something’s off or bad even when it’s not!⁣
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Takes time to find safety internally but that’s a big foundation of this work

11/13/2025

People pleasers and over givers here’s a simple tip!⁣
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“I’ll get back to you about that” ⁣
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Easy. You don’t have to give an immediate response and in fact that’s when the automatic or even compulsive “yes” happens.⁣
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Stop, slow down, say that and then go over a few reflection questions I talk about to then determine if it’s genuinely a yes.⁣
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You’ll find how much you’ve prob said yes to that wasn’t an accurate depiction of how you feel or what you have capacity for honestly.⁣
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Thoughts?

11/12/2025

Sometimes what looks or even feels like calm is actually self-protection.⁣
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Hyper-vigilance, control, or emotional numbing can all be ways your nervous system tries to keep you safe!⁣
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But internal safety comes from connection from being grounded in your body, present with your emotions, and learning that you can handle what you feel.

11/11/2025

When your nervous system is on alert, you start scanning for danger in people instead of the present moment. ⁣
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You read tone shifts, facial expressions, and silence like survival cues - not just information. You make meaning and create assumptions and stories before you know what’s truly happening. ⁣
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So working on hypervigilance means learning to narrate your own story again, not someone else’s. AND asking first before making an assumption. Teaching yourself that you’re actually safe and the other person likely isn’t upset with you. ⁣
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✨ What would it feel like to stop over-interpreting others, and start trusting yourself more?

11/10/2025

Quiet signs of hyper-independence!⁣
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It’s not that you don’t want support -⁣
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It’s that your body learned being needed feels safer than needing. It’s a way to protect from your belief that people I’ll ultimately let you down and not show up.⁣
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This is often caused by unmet needs, insecure attachment, conditioning or relational trauma

11/07/2025

Before you say “yes,” pause.⁣
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So many of us - especially people pleasers, fawners, or those who grew up equating connection with compliance - say yes before we’ve even checked in with ourselves.⁣
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But every “yes” is also a “no” - sometimes to your peace, your needs, or your energy.⁣
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Here are a few gentle questions to ask yourself before automatically saying yes.⁣
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Because your boundaries deserve the same care you give to everyone else’s!!

11/06/2025

My fall dopamine menu! What’s on yours? 🍂🍁

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http://www.ak-psychotherapy.com/

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