AK Psychotherapy

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United States
New York, NY
AK Psychotherapy

LCSW serving NY, NJ, MD & DC. Also offer: support groups, workshops, & consultation. bio.site/alyssakushnerlcsw

Therapy for anxious over-givers, high achieving perfectionists & hyper-responsible people pleasers ready to stop self-abandoning and start building self-trust.

03/29/2026

You don’t just have anxiety! You have parts that learned to protect you - and they’ve been working overtime ever since!⁣
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-The overthinker⁣
-The perfectionist⁣
-The one who over-explains every “no”⁣
-The one who apologizes for existing before anyone even asks her to⁣
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These protectors were shaped by the moments you learned it wasn’t safe to just be. ⁣
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When you understand what each part is trying to protect you from, everything starts to make sense.⁣
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Instead of fighting her, get curious about her.⁣
She’s not the problem. She’s trying to keep you safe - the only way she knows how.⁣
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Which part do you experience? Let me know and save to come to!⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. ⁣
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Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust

03/27/2026

The word “sure” doing the most while my nervous system is absolutely not okay about it.⁣
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This is what people pleasing actually looks like on the inside - a split second decision to override what you actually feel because saying no felt more dangerous than saying yes.⁣
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Not “just being nice.” Your nervous system learned that your needs weren’t safe to express. So it got really good at hiding them.⁣
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If this is you, your body has been working overtime. And you deserve more than a lifetime of “sure.”⁣
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Save if you relate, send to your fellow people pleaser friend 👋🏻🩷⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. ⁣
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Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust

03/26/2026

The guilt after a boundary isn’t a sign you were wrong. It’s your nervous system doing exactly what it was trained to do.⁣
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For a lot of people-pleasers or over givers, guilt is automatic - a full-body alarm that goes off the moment someone else is uncomfortable. And the fastest way to make it stop? Take the boundary back. Over-explain. Apologize. ⁣
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These small tools won’t make the discomfort disappear. But they can help you stay in it long enough to trust yourself!⁣
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The longer you can be with the discomfort the easier it’ll get over time.⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.⁣
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Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust

03/25/2026

Your nervous system doesn’t know the difference between a real threat and someone being upset with you.⁣
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For chronic over-givers, everyday moments become dysregulating - not because you’re too sensitive, but because your system was trained to survive by staying one step ahead of everyone else’s emotions.⁣
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You didn’t become an over-giver because you’re too much. You became one because you learned it was the only way to be enough!⁣
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Comment below if this resonated 🩷⁣
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A gentle way to begin working on the nervous system piece (before you get to anything else) - download the free nervous system workbook linked in bio ⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.⁣
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Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust

03/23/2026

When helping people feel better became how you measured your own worth.⁣
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Attending to everyone else is a part of you that makes complete sense. The issue is it starts costing you everything.⁣
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Your nervous system learned early: keep everyone comfortable, stay useful, cause no trouble. That’s how you stayed safe.⁣
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But somewhere along the way, your feelings stopped mattering. Your wants started feeling like a burden. And you stopped knowing who you are outside of what you do for others.⁣
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That’s not just people-pleasing. That’s a wound - and it can heal.⁣
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Your worth was never yours to earn. You were enough before you ever helped anyone!⁣
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Save this if it landed. Drop a 🤍 if you recognize yourself here.⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional. ⁣
⁣
Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust

03/19/2026

POV: someone’s in a bad mood and you’ve decided it’s your fault.

And that means you go into panic, guilt, fear. You ruminate - what do I do? Did I say something that made them upset? Was it because of this?

If this is familiar - know that your nervous system didn’t make that up. It learned it!

Somewhere along the way, other people’s emotions became your emergency. Their silence = your anxiety.
Their frustration = your failure.
Their bad day = your job to fix.

That’s not empathy. That’s hypervigilance and the role of an emotional manager!

And the crash out? Honestly it’s just your nervous system going into activation because at one point it meant danger, unsafety, someone else’s mood lash outs, or disconnection.

If this is familiar, that’s actually really important information about you! Let me know if it resonates and follow my page for tips on nervous system regulation and hypervigilance

If you want a place to begin the processing of working on the nervous system piece - download my free workbook linked in bio 🩷

This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.

03/17/2026

Recovery from people-pleasing isn’t a a quick and easy glow-up.⁣
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It’s a dismantling your old beliefs and patterns and then, slowly, a rebuilding - on your own terms.⁣
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If you’re in the messy middle and feeling lots of discomfort… you’re not doing it wrong. You’re probably doing it right tbh.⁣
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Keep at it! You’ve got this. Tiny shifts over time, tiny moments of tolerating all the discomfort, and starting to finally check in with yourself first is what makes the bigger shifts later.⁣
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If you want some help along the way…my new workbook is live and linked in bio 🤍⁣
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Save if you’re in this messy middle!⁣
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This content is for educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health treatment. If you’re struggling, please reach out to a licensed mental health professional.⁣
⁣
Follow for more on people-pleasing, nervous system healing, hyper responsibility and building self trust ⁣

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New York, NY
10006

Website

http://www.ak-psychotherapy.com/

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