Alana Carvalho Therapy - The Codependent Perfectionist

Alana Carvalho Therapy - The Codependent Perfectionist A series on the dynamics of codependency and perfectionism.

Self identified as the Codependent Perfectionist, Alana gives you a mix of psychoeducation and anecdotes from her own work as a therapist to understand how theseissues play out in everyday life. Alana Carvalho is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Licensed Professional Counselor, Substance Abuse Counselor, and Sandtray Therapist based in NYC & NJ.

12/26/2025

Setting a boundary with yourself means creating limits that protect your own well-being. ⁠
⁠
These internal boundaries help you show up more authentically in your relationships and honor your needs first. ⁠
⁠
💠 8 POWERFUL BOUNDARIES TO SET WITH YOURSELF 💠⁠
⁠
I will stop saying “yes” when I really mean “no.”⁠
I will make time for myself —without guilt.⁠
I will not tolerate disrespect, even from myself.⁠
I will forgive myself when needed⁠
I will say “no” to self-criticism and perfectionism.⁠
I will give myself permission to rest—without needing to earn it.⁠
I will protect my peace by limiting toxic interactions.⁠
I will prioritize my needs, even if it means disappointing others⁠

perfectionism perfectionist codependencyrecovery

12/19/2025

1️⃣ You can’t save people who don’t want to be saved. Stop calling it “love” when it’s control disguised as care.
2️⃣ Saying “I’m fine” when you’re not is self-abandonment, not strength.
3️⃣ People-pleasing isn’t kindness - it’s fear of rejection. And fear will never create real connection.
4️⃣ Your boundaries don’t need approval to be valid.
5️⃣ The apology you’re waiting for might never come. Heal anyway.
6️⃣ Over-functioning doesn’t make you worthy - it makes you exhausted.
7️⃣ Sometimes “letting go” isn’t weakness; it’s self-respect.
8️⃣ You can’t heal in the same environment that broke you.
9️⃣ Your peace will cost you relationships with people committed to chaos - pay it.
🔟 Healing requires choosing discomfort now over resentment later.

Tough love, I know. But this is where real freedom begins ... when you stop betraying yourself for approval and start showing up for you.

If this hit hard, it’s because you’re ready to grow.

🤍 Dive deeper inside The Codependent Perfectionist Support Community, where we turn these truths into action, with live support, tools, and accountability to help you stop performing and start living.

👉 Comment COMMUNITY or click the link in bio to join us.

12/15/2025

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, ⁠
what you stop, and what you reinforce. ” ⁠
⁠
Tony Gaskins

12/05/2025

✨ Welcome!! I’m so glad you’re here. ✨

If you’ve found your way here, you’re probably in the process of unlearning old patterns - the people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependency that kept you feeling small, anxious, or responsible for everyone else’s emotions.

This space is for you.
For the ones healing their boundaries.
For the ones learning to rest without guilt.
For the ones who want peace more than approval.

You’re not alone anymore ... and it’s never too late to start showing up differently.

I’m so happy you’ve found this community. Welcome home. 🤍

#

12/01/2025

“Narcissists
rewrite history.
Don’t let them
edit your truth.”

Shahida Arabi

11/28/2025

Looking for some inspiration for your week? ✨

📸 Screenshot to reveal your card from my Codependent Perfectionist Oracle Deck!

Let me know which card you pulled in the comments👇 and grab a deck for yourself at home at the link in my bio or through this post! You don’t want to miss the incredible unique artwork by local artist made specifically for each card!

🔹 Each of the 53 cards in my Codependent Perfectionist Oracle Deck focuses on a specific topic related to Codependency & Perfectionism and includes my insight on the topic as well as a direct reflection prompt so you can work on your healing any time, any day!
⁠
✨ 𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 right in my shop in my bio!

11/24/2025

Procrastination isn’t laziness ... it’s perfectionism in disguise. 😬

When you fear not doing something perfectly, your brain protects you by avoiding it altogether. But the longer you wait, the heavier it feels.

Progress > perfection. Every small step counts.

Follow along for more insights on breaking perfectionist habits and learning self-compassion.

11/17/2025

True apologies heal ... fake ones just protect egos. 🖤

Learning the difference is emotional maturity in action.

When you’ve spent years over-apologizing or accepting half-hearted ones, it takes practice to spot what’s real. But once you do, you stop taking responsibility for what isn’t yours and start communicating from self-worth instead of guilt.

Follow along for more healthy communication swaps and reminders to support your healing from codependency and perfectionism.

11/14/2025

t’s not just about 𝒔𝒖𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 the holidays - it’s about feeling 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 in them.

Join us inside The Codependent Perfectionist Support Community, and you’ll gain:⁠
✅ Ongoing support from others who get it⁠
✅ Direct access to myself twice a month for live support⁠
✅ Unlimited access to my library of webinars, tools, and an ongoing support system
✅ A safe place to practice being seen, heard, and supported - without shame⁠

Comment COMMUNITY to join us or register at the link in my bio!

11/10/2025

🤍 AFFIRMATIONS THAT HAVE SAVED ME AS A RECOVERING PEOPLE-PLEASER 🤍

I can say “no” and still be a good person. My worth isn’t measured by how much I do for others.
It’s not my job to make everyone happy. Disagreement doesn’t mean I’ve done something wrong.
My voice matters, and what I think and feel carries value.
I stand by my boundaries with calm confidence—they protect my peace, not push people away.
I understand my limits, and it’s healthy to communicate them clearly.
My mental and emotional wellbeing come first—it’s how I stay grounded and present.
Other people’s disappointment isn’t my responsibility to fix. Their emotions belong to them.
Caring for myself allows me to show up more authentically—it’s not selfish, it’s self-respect.
I don’t have to prove my worth. I am enough, exactly as I am.
Praise feels good, but my confidence doesn’t depend on it.
I define myself—not the opinions or approval of others.
My needs are just as important as anyone else’s. I deserve care and consideration too.

10/31/2025

Your home is your 🧠⁠
Your home is your 💓⁠
Your home is your ⏲️⁠
⁠
Invite guests who treat your home with respect ⁠
⁠
Follow my page for a lot more where this came from!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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875 6th Avenue Suite 1602
New York, NY
10001

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 9pm
Tuesday 9am - 9pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

Telephone

(732) 778-0107

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The Codependent Perfectionist is a series on the dynamics of codependency and perfectionism. Alana Carvalho, LMHC self identifies as the Codependent Perfectionist, giving you a mix of psychoeducation and anecdotes from her own work as a therapist to understand how these issues play out in everyday life.

Contact Alana: alana@acarvalhotherapy.com or following on Instagram alanacarvalhotherapy for any questions or comments!