Postmodern Childbirth

08/16/2022

Happy 15th birthday, Jonah!

06/28/2022

Fun with with Leo! “We have been sketched”

06/10/2022

Your book is beautiful, and Congratulations!

02/23/2022

New pandemic mom support group starting!

Online counseling for new families. Group counseling for postpartum anxiety and depression, birth trauma and more.

11/25/2021

09/23/2021

: Over 3 Million The Boppy Company Original Newborn Loungers, Boppy Preferred Newborn Loungers and Pottery Barn Kids Boppy Newborn Loungers After 8 Infant Deaths; Suffocation Risk. Get refund. Contact: 800-416-1355 or www.boppy.com. Full recall notice: https://bit.ly/3lVXlYf

09/22/2021

09/19/2021

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but attachment parenting in a detached society is exhausting.
No. It’s not your baby.
There is nothing wrong with them if they want to be held all the time.
No. It’s not you.
You’re not doing it wrong.
Your feelings of exhaustion and depletion and being touched out are normal- considering the weight you’re carrying. Those feelings, and the deep ache underneath them - are a reminder that you were never meant to do this alone.
Babies want to be held. And we want to hold them close. Exclusive/extended breastfeeding, cosleeping, babywearing- all of these are intuitive, ancestral practices that have kept our species alive throughout history. Attachment parenting is just parenting!!
But never before have we parented in such isolation. There were always other hands stirring the soup pot, other aunties, and sisters, and uncles and grandmas, and cousins, and neighbors helping with the daily tasks and child rearing. Other arms carrying the weight of raising humanity. Together.
And now, it’s just you. Alone in the kitchen, trying to stir the soup and bounce the baby and play with the toddler and keep an eye on the big kid and answer the phone and sweep up the mess and tackle the laundry and .....
No matter how magical your baby wrap is — it can’t take the place of a whole village.
So no, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just trying to stay connected in a world set on tearing you apart.
But don’t give up mama. I know you’re tired and touched out, but you’re giving your baby exactly what she needs. And maybe one day, when she’s raising her own babies,there will be a village around her, helping her hold it all together.

Beautiful words and Pic by on Instagram

09/17/2021

Omg. 😂

08/14/2021

💗

I was relaxing in my hammock and reflecting. I was feeling kind of bad about my productivity this week. Every time I’d try to write, work on my business, or get some school work done (I’m in the last few classes of my degree), something would happen.

Someone would need me. Lunch time. Dinner time. Laundry. An argument. Counters to clean. Vacuuming. A pet to care for. Or I’d need to just take an hour to decompress from the death match arena (grocery store) or a pool visit.

So now it’s Friday and all day I’ve felt like if I could just get in front of the computer to do some work, real work, I’d feel better about me. Like I accomplished something real.

But as I was thinking and feeling that frantic little clench in my heart that tells me I didn’t do enough things to deserve a weekend, I felt a voice asking me why the things I do for my home and family don’t count as important and productive.

This week I didn’t write anything fancy or earn a single dollar but I yesterday afternoon my family laughed in the kitchen together as we made quesadillas and ate pears.

My oldest daughter and I talked a lot about the world, concepts like justice and gossip, and her hair. She wants to get locs like me.

My youngest daughter and I giggled a lot today as we ran errands. You know those contagious giggles that when you try and stop only get worse? That kind.

My little baby who is still a baby (I don’t care what anyone says) had so much fun swimming all week with the neighbor kids and kept me up to date on everything Roblox. 😅

I took care of my kids, cooked, cleaned and rested where I could. I sneaked in some reading. I just lived and made a life for us.

That has to have value no matter what we’ve been programmed to believe. It does have immense value. Maybe it’s even the most important.

Anyone can replace the writing I do and money comes and goes but nobody can be me to my family. Nobody can love my kids just the way I do and make them feel the way they feel when I look them in the eye when they tell me a story.

I like entrepreneurship and have bills to pay, so I’ll always work. But something keeps telling me making a life and home is where my deepest value lies even though it doesn’t make a cent. It might look like just cleaning and just cutting up fruit and just hugging but what I do in the home is priceless. I know it even when I can’t quite feel it.

I don’t want to forget that truth no matter what projects I take on.

Next week, I’ll write and work more, but I know at the end of the day, making this home and life for my family is my most important calling. Who else can be me for them? It’s not glamorous or lucrative, but it’s priceless.

I hope you know that you’re doing amazing work even if you’re paid exclusively in laundry, kisses, and hugs. Wonderful job. A+. Well done. Don’t forget to rest where you can. I’m very proud of you. 🌸

Love,

Bunmi 🧡