Sarah Kahan Therapy

11/08/2018

How do we get to self acceptance and calm our inner critic? While this may sound paradoxical, we can come to self acceptance when we mourn the loss of the dream. In other words, we all have visions of what we thought we would be and what we thought we would accomplish. W
hen those dreams are not actualized, we become self critical. We need to go through the grieving process and come to accept ourselves for who we are with our strengths and our weaknesses. Once we do that, we can create a different more realistic dream and find inner contentment.

11/01/2018

The fear of rejection in a relationship or the fear of being engulfed in a relationship can cause a person to avoid relationships. Avoiding relationships leads to loneliness and lack of emotional and spiritual growth. Relationships offer us the most powerful way to grow personally and to feel deeply satisfied.
What can move us to get past the fear of intimacy? Learning how to feel worthy without relying on others for self worth can ease the pain of rejection. I once read a saying that “if you have not been rejected today, you have not tried hard enough.”
Learning how to be vulnerable to the needs you have and to be assertive in getting your needs met will make you feel more in control. This ability will minimize the fear of being swallowed up and losing your identity.

10/22/2018

10/08/2018

To quote Carl Rogers "the curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) rests upon the idea of balancing and comparing two seemingly oppositional things. When we can accept ourselves for who we are AND work on changing the things we want to change- we will be most successful.

09/13/2018

How do you define true love? It is the ability to provide respect to the other person based on what the other person is and not by what you want the other person to be. It is the ability to value the other person based on their uniqueness.

09/05/2018

The ability to forgive is like a muscle. Having a strong ability is one of life's greatest skills. Forgiveness helps a person unburden themselves with the heavy load of pain they are carrying around like a weighted vest.

09/03/2018

Conflict is a normal part of relationships, but it can escalate more quickly and cause additional problems when anxiety is involved. The first step to fixing the destructive influence of anxiety in a relationship is to recognize that the problem exists. The next step is to sit down and explain your anxiety to your spouse. Once the spouses of anxiety sufferers have a more complete understanding of the condition, they often feel some of the weight lift off their shoulders and are more equipped to react appropriately to their spouse.

08/21/2018

Why do we love children so much? Why are we drawn to people who act themselves? Because we feel an intrinsic comfort in the presence of authenticity. Someone who is real and vulnerable gives us the space and permission to be the same.

08/07/2018

Although we may try to run from vulnerability, it is an inevitable part of social relationships. Vulnerability is something we encounter frequently: calling someone who has just lost a child, asking a friend for help, taking responsibility for something that went wrong at work, confronting a family member about their behavior, or sitting by the bedside of a friend with a terminal illness. Opportunities for vulnerability present themselves to us every day, the question is whether we will take them or avoid them.

07/17/2018

Do vacations alleviate stress or add more stress?
Many of us feel we need a vacation following our vacation!
Effective vacations give you the choice and freedom to choose what you want to do. Try to avoid structuring your vacation around an unbreakable schedule, and plan on going somewhere that has multiple options to pick from depending on the weather, your level of energy, or your budget.
Staycations can be a great option to destress and add excitement in your life. Enjoy the rest of your summer :)