Marcie's Wellness Alternative

03/07/2023

To anyone who has ever felt shame after eating a cookie...

Shame is a bully who exploits our insecurities and tells us we aren’t good enough. Shame is our inner critic telling us we aren’t worthy.

Bullies are manipulative and promote false narratives. Our inner critic is a bully who presents limiting beliefs as facts and uses them against us.

Shame robs us of our motivation, our confidence, and our dignity.

Shame is uncomfortable and distressing.

‼️ We need to recognize shame for what it is – a nasty hypercritical bully who lies uncontrollably. ‼️

👉👉The antidote for shame is self-compassion.👈👈

Self-compassion is based on truth, kindness and respect and promotes a nurturing encouraging narrative.

Self-compassion soothes us, helps us learn and grow, and motivates us to carry on.

We all deserve to eat cookies❣️
Self-compassion is our Power Tool❣️



Schedule a free discovery call with me: https://bit.ly/MarcieDiscoveryCall

12/18/2022

Empty Cup Syndrome leads to unintended self-sabotage. And a common form of that self-sabotage is emotional eating.

Does this sound familiar?
🔸I can (and must) do all the things!
🔸I can (and must) push through!
🔸There isn’t anything I can give up!
🔸I know I’m too busy, but I just have no choice!

We keep doing, doing, doing until we feel exhausted. Then we continue to push through anyway because we don’t see any other way. We feel good about all we can accomplish and everyone we can help! But we aren’t helping ourselves.

I call this Empty Cup Syndrome!

It is driven by limiting beliefs, not the truth.

We find ourselves turning to food because we believe we deserve “a treat” (after all we are working so hard!) or because we think it will give us back some energy.

This is a false narrative.

Overeating doesn’t end up making us feel any better at all, in fact it puts more of a strain on our bodies, disrupts our sacred sleep and often ends up making us feel worse about ourselves.

STRATEGIES FOR MANAGING EMPTY CUP SYNDROME

1️⃣ Learn how to set boundaries. When we really examine everything we are doing, there’s almost always opportunities to say no, or ask for help.

2️⃣ Listen for your limiting beliefs and reframe them by telling yourself what is really true. This takes practice but is hugely powerful. Our thoughts drive our behaviors – reframing your thoughts can create more supportive outcomes.

3️⃣ Use self-compassion. Think about what you would tell a friend who was in your situation – this can help you look at it more objectively. You deserve to be as gentle with yourself as you would be with a friend.

It is critical to recognize when you are entering the danger zone and to start filling your cup back up. Think about what you really need – e.g. a nap, a day off, time with a friend or loved one – and then give yourself permission to do that!

11/13/2022

“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.” *

TRUE but perfectionism is a mindset that can be reprogrammed!

Perfectionists have very high standards, rigid expectations and a low tolerance for mistakes. This tendency can lead to procrastination, anxiety and a whole lot of self-criticism.

‼️ A more empowering approach is to view mistakes as learning opportunities and focus on progress over perfection. ‼️

'Failure' is actually a growth opportunity because we can learn so much from our mistakes which can help us do better next time.

➡️➡️ Strategy for making the shift from ‘perfectionism’ to a mindset of ‘mistakes equal learning. ⬅️⬅️

Observe your behavior with curiosity, not judgement, and when something doesn't go as you intended, identify what went well and what you can potentially do differently next time.

1️⃣ Forgive yourself quickly! We all make mistakes.

2️⃣ Identify a new approach to try! Ask yourself "What did I learn from this? What was going on with me at the time? What could I have done differently to potentially change what happened?"

3️⃣ Recognize any progress! Ask yourself, "What went well? What did I do better this time than last time?"

4️⃣ Try a revised approach, based on what you learned, and see how it goes.

5️⃣ Don't give up, keep learning and experimenting until you achieve the desired result.

🤔 Can you think of a time you thought you failed but learned something critical that helped you do better the next time❓



*Opening quote from Anne Wilson Schaef.

10/13/2022

Sharing food with loved ones should be joyful!

Yet, for many, eating out can be a huge source of stress.

If you have a short list of 'on track' foods, a long list of 'bad foods' and you're trying to stay 'on track', then navigating a menu can feel like a nightmare. It can feel UNSAFE.

When Ruth* first started working with with me, eating out was a stressful challenge for her. She would look at the menu and all she saw was all the foods she couldn't eat. She would study the menu, trying to figure out what would cause the least damage and hoping the waitstaff was ok with substitutions.

Her husband always commented on how she couldn’t have fun going out to dinner.

Food was stealing her joy because she had a deprivation mindset.

Over the next few months, she began developing a much more empowered mindset. 🥳

👍 Now, when she opens a menu, she thinks about what she would like to have and what she would most enjoy.

👍 Now, Instead of seeing obstacles, she sees a variety of choices.

👍 Now, she can look forward to eating out instead of fearing it.

When Ruth told me this story, we celebrated her BIG MINDSET SHIFT - it felt so empowering and freeing for her!

➡️ This is Food Empowerment. ⬅️

There's still time to join the Food Empowerment group program - we have a great group starting next week. You can get more details and signup here: https://bit.ly/Food-Empowerment-Group
- we'd love to have you join us!



*client name changed for privacy

09/29/2022

If you are tired of struggling with food and would love to feel more empowered, in control, and joyful with food, I'd like to invite you to join us this October! 🙋🏻‍♀️

This program is a powerful combination of education, personal coaching, and group support. You will learn the full Food Empowerment Protocol (with a plethora of strategies and tools) while getting coaching support and support from the group.

This is for people who...

➡️ Know that dieting hasn't worked.

➡️ Tried practically every diet out there.

➡️ Are sick of gaining and losing weight over and over again.

➡️ Want a more peaceful and empowered relationship with food.

➡️ Aren't afraid to invest in personal transformation and long-term results (not band-aid quick fixes).

This will be a powerful supportive small group experience. You will discover there really is a better way and you will be inspired to put what you are learning into action.

Click the link and get the details! I am running an early bird special for the next week only. I keep the group small so everyone gets enough personal attention so don't wait.

Get the details!

09/22/2022

I was trapped in a lonely cycle of secrecy and shame, despite my successful career.

I was a Managing Partner, a Vice President and a senior level CIO. 💪

Yet for all those years in all those roles, I struggled with food. 😞

I binged on food and wine to manage stress, frustration, anger, and other emotions.

On the outside it looked like I had it all together, I was very successful in my career and my relationships, but inside I was suffering.

At 50, I adopted a 12-year-old, started a new job, and the stress climbed to new heights. I binged on nachos and pizza and secretly ate the cookies and other snacks I bought for my daughter.

It wasn’t just the excess weight that was so upsetting, it was the pain of feeling so disgusted with myself and the frustration of not understanding why it was happening.

Eventually, I found my way out. 🙏 🥳

I learned that willpower isn’t the problem. Trying harder isn’t the answer.

Now I’m passionate about helping other successful women break free from their struggles with food so they can feel empowered and joyful again.

If you’d like to explore your own eating patterns, check out the emotional eating quiz❗️ https://bit.ly/Emotional-Eating-Quiz

09/16/2022

“Nothing can harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” (Gautama Buddha)

Our inner critic can be one of our big saboteurs!

We all have an inner critic - the voice in our head that negatively judges us - it is typically cruel, unreasonable and relentless. We say cruel destructive things to ourselves that we would never say to a loved one!

Our thoughts create feelings and drive our behavior - they have serious power!

‼️ Our inner critics can leave us feeling unworthy, discouraged and unmotivated. ‼️

On the other hand, treating ourselves with compassion creates a supportive inner voice. Self-compassion is about being as kind and supportive of ourselves as we are with others.

‼️ Practicing self-compassion can leave us feeling worthwhile, hopeful and motivated. ‼️

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Strategy for beginning to make the shift from ‘forceful inner critic’ to ‘strong self-compassion’ ⭐️⭐️⭐️

When I first start working with someone, they often don't hear their inner critic. That is why the first step is cultivating awareness. Once you start listening, you may be surprised at what you hear and how often that mean critical voice pipes in.

1️⃣ Spend 1-2 weeks just listening for your inner critic. Jot down some of the exact language your inner critic is using.

2️⃣ After that initial exercise, when you hear your inner critic, get curious! First ask yourself, "Would I say the same thing to my best friend if she were in the same situation?" Then, apply the THINK acronym to what your inner critic said: Is it True? Helpful? Inspiring? Necessary? Kind?

3️⃣ Then immediately use self-compassion and flip the script (reframe the statement). Tell yourself what you might have said to your best friend, tell yourself something that is more helpful, motivating, kind and factual.

This takes practice but like any habit, the more you do it, the easier it will become. Flipping this pattern can have a profound effect on your frame of mind and your eating behavior.

09/10/2022

Our autopilots can lead us to trouble! We have been taught to "think before we speak" but we often don't "think before we act."

When we are living in a highly reactive manner, we can feel like we are constantly on autopilot. Life can feel like it is happening TO us and as if we aren’t in control.

This can easily happen when we get very busy, as we are reacting to all the demands on our time.

When we are living more intentionally, we are consciously choosing actions that will support our values and goals.

So, what does this have to do with emotional eating? 🧐
‼️ Everything ‼️

When we are living a highly reactive lifestyle, we are more likely to eat reactively (without forethought and intent).

Let’s look at an example scenario of reactive eating꞉

🟢 I had a big presentation to give and several difficult meetings yesterday at work.

🟢 I got home after surviving the day, wandered into the kitchen, popped open a bottle of wine and grabbed a box of crackers, a bag of almonds and an unopened block of cheese.

🟢 I stood at the counter thinking about how the day went while drinking my wine and eating the nuts, crackers and cheese.

🟢 I realized I finished off the almonds and crackers and most of the cheese and hadn’t had dinner yet. Since I didn’t feel like making dinner anymore, I grabbed some more wine and a bag of chips and headed for the TV.

🟢 By the time I went to bed, I felt like crap, had an upset stomach, and knew I was in for a bad night’s sleep.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ Strategy to Shift from ‘Reactive’ to ‘Intentional’ ⭐️⭐️⭐️
This strategy is one possible approach and a great place to start.

1️⃣ In the morning, take 5 minutes to think through your day.
2️⃣ Identify potential challenges – pick one that impacts a goal you are working on.
3️⃣ Visualize how you are going to feel when you encounter the challenge.
4️⃣ Visualize how you want to respond to the challenge and set that intention.
5️⃣ When the challenge presents itself, remind yourself of your intention and that you want to honor it, and put your intended plan into action.

Let’s look at our example scenario using this strategy꞉

🟢 While having my morning tea, I thought through what was going to happen that day. I realized I had a big presentation to give and several difficult meetings to get through at work.

🟢 I knew it would be a stressful day and I would be vulnerable to slipping into my autopilot of "snacking mindlessly when I get home from work."

🟢 I visualized walking through the door at the end of the day and knew I would be feeling tired, depleted, and desperate to unwind. I also knew I would immediately reach for snacks.

🟢 I decided: 1) it would help me blow off steam if I got some fresh air and took my dog for a walk before dinner when I first got home, 2) I would have leftover lasagna and salad for dinner (quick and easy and I love it), 3) after dinner I would watch 2 episodes of Hacks for a little relaxing fun, 4) I would get to bed by 10. 5) I ‘set an intention’ to do this when I got home from work.

🟢 As I was approaching my front door after work, I reminded myself of my intention and that I wanted to honor that intention so I would be able to effectively relax and recharge.

🟢 I took my dog for a walk, enjoyed a delicious easy dinner, then watched 2 episodes of Hacks.

🟢 I went to bed at 10 feeling good about my day and ready for a good night’s sleep.

This is a strategy I use and have seen my clients use with great success. We can reduce emotional eating by being less reactive and more intentional. Like all new habits, it takes practice, but over time it will become 2nd nature.

08/26/2022

When I hear “I don’t have time” what I actually hear is “It isn’t a priority for me.”

“I don’t have time” is the most common reason we neglect self-care. And this isn't about pedicures, it's about actually taking good care of ourselves.

I bet you can think of someone who seems to be able to do it all. Ever wonder how they pull it off? 🧐

🎯 They are good at setting boundaries and choose their priorities carefully and intentionally.

🎯 They know if they don’t take good care of themselves they
- won't be as effective a boss
- won't be as present for their families
- they might lose precious time to being sick
- their own quality of life will suffer.

🎯 They make taking care of themselves a priority!

And for those of us prone to emotional eating, inadequate self-care unwittingly throws us off our game and right into that box of chocolates, that whole bag of almonds or those glasses of cabernet.

Here is a strategy for how to start making the shift from ‘always busy’ to ‘prioritizing self-care’

1️⃣ Start to define what I refer to as your ‘self-care non-negotiables’. Brainstorm a list of activities that help you feel more grounded and better able to take on the world.

2️⃣ Pick ONE (just one!) that feels impactful and that you can commit to trying to start doing more regularly.

3️⃣ Put it on your calendar. Treat it as you would a meeting you can’t miss, treat it as ‘non-negotiable’.

Don’t worry about doing it perfectly❗️ Just do it more regularly.

Then slowly work up to 3-5 self-care non-negotiables. You will notice when you do these with reasonable regularity (not perfection❗️), you not only feel better, you’ll be less likely to use food as a coping mechanism.

Always grateful to discover empowering strategies!

What strategies do you use to take of yourself even when feeling insanely busy?

Follow to share this health journey together.

07/19/2022

I spent most of my life over-committing and over-giving. This got me into a lot of trouble.

No matter how busy I was, I always stepped up when anyone needed me, even if they didn’t ask.

This led to stress, overwhelm and burnout. I was there for everyone and everything but myself.

Over-giving leads to silent resentment and anger. But when we are in it, it all feels necessary and we don’t recognize the powerful emotions building up inside us.

Now I have learned to set boundaries. I am the same loving, caring, helpful person, but I have learned when it’s healthier to say “No.”

Here is a strategy I find helpful:

• When I am considering a potential commitment, I PAUSE and ask myself, “If I say yes to this, will it push me over the line?”

• The “line” is my threshold – if I go over it, it is when resentment and anger can start to build.

• I have a visual image of a zone of contentment (green light) and a zone of resentment (red light).

I’m grateful for strategies and tools (like AWARENESS and PAUSING and VISUALIZATION) that help me stay in my zone of contentment.

What strategies do you use to keep yourself from over-giving and over-committing?

Follow to share this health journey together.

07/01/2022

You can't willpower (or diet) your way out of emotional eating. But you CAN break free from the vicious cycles of emotional eating.

A good place to start is to look at some of your basic patterns. This diagram shows some of the high level patterns that together can tell a story about your emotional eating triggers.

If you are stuck in cycles of emotional eating that keep repeating over and over again, you are likely stuck in the majority of the patterns on the left.

These patterns FEED the vicious cycle of emotional eating.

Each of these patterns can be flipped to their healthier counterpart on the right. Shifting all of these patterns can lead you to a place where you feel empowered, where you can regain confidence, freedom and joy with food again.

Over the next few months, I am going to share my perspective on each of these 7 shifts - what it means to be in each side of the pattern, how that pattern is related to emotional eating and strategies for making each shift.

If you are interested in learning more, follow

Schedule a free discovery call with me here: https://bit.ly/MarcieDiscoveryCall