12/30/2025
Simply put, grief rewires us.
It changes us.
It is the captain of our ship for a while.
It doesn’t wait for us to be ready. It doesn’t care that we have to go to work tomorrow, that people are watching, that we’re supposed to be holding it together by now.
It just arrives …in waves, in fragments, in the middle of ordinary moments that used to mean nothing and now mean everything.
Our brains keep reaching for someone who isn’t coming back. Our bodies keep bracing for a reunion that will never happen. And somewhere inside us, a version of ourselves that knew how to exist in their presence is still standing in the wreckage, trying to remember how the world used to make sense.
People will tell us it gets easier.
And, it does.
But not in the same ways.
It doesn’t disappear.
It doesn’t get quieter indefinitely.
It ebbs and flows.
It doesn’t stop mattering.
We just get stronger at carrying it. We learn to breathe around the ache. We discover that love doesn’t end when someone dies. It just changes and moves through us. Expresses itself through us.
And, that’s the work.
Not “moving on.”
Not “closure.”
Not finding some redemptive meaning in the unbearable.
And learning (slowly, unevenly, with more setbacks than breakthroughs) that we are strong enough to hold what we never thought we could.
The ache and the devotion.
Inseparable.
Ours to carry.