Play to Learn Consulting

Play to Learn Consulting Guiding parents and ND kids to master emotions and behavior. Optimal relationships can be achieved!

11/27/2025

Thanksgiving and holiday related because your autistic or ADHD child is going to be processing a ton of information. Make sure to save this! Because I’m about to info dump.
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Information will be coming at them from every direction. The brain is going to be maxed out faster. Too many people and moving objects to keep track of. Possibly a new location (and yes it’s new even though they went to Uncle Bob’s last year). Coupled with an underdeveloped executive function system that struggles with integration. Bake all of those ingredients together and you get…
🥁
1- what looks like misbehavior - but is actually (not a need for autonomy) a hard time keeping track of all the moving parts…literally
2- “no” to every offer while struggling to make a decision - but is actually working memory overload that needs you to choose (which can also mean doing nothing)
3- “I’m dying of boredom” - but is actually difficulty getting started with a single idea because you also need to know where to take that idea
🤯
Know that your stillness and silence can be empathic. Know that your connection to the hurt means you get it. Know that they’re not looking for you to “fix it.”
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As I burrow into my new🔬🐇 🕳️ , I’ll be sharing even more of my insights. Be sure to follow along!

11/25/2025

It’s happening! The course that I’ve been working on for is going live! This isn’t just another executive function training. You pretty much get insight into my brain 🧠 and practical strategies that work.
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Here’s what you can do:
1- Like, follow, and share with a friend
2- Check out the link in my bio to register
3- DM me for a coupon code
🥳
Let’s change the way we connect with neurodivergent kids.
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11/13/2025

If no one has told you yet, your child is not a behavior problem.
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If no one has told you yet, you don’t have behavioral students in your classroom.
🤨
If no one has told you yet, calling an autistic or ADHD child “behavioral” and adding sticker charts, will never address the struggle.
🧐
Because you’re not looking at a behavior. You’re looking 👀 at:
1- a regulation challenge
2- a weak working memory (verbal and visuospatial)
3- an inefficient sensory system that lacks integration
4- a brain that needs support (the kind that gets to the core of the challenge - not the kind that works like a bandaid 🩹)
5- a child who simply wants to feel valued and connected
❤️‍🩹
That’s your kid! That’s your student! That’s your client! And I’m so glad you’ve landed on my page. Give me a follow and share me with a friend who also needs to read this message today.
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11/08/2025

Feels like I’m previewing my debut! Being described as an innovator in my field and having the opportunity to teach others about neurodiversity affirming practices is a huge shift toward moving away from behavioral approaches.
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There’s more to come and you’ve landed in the right place. To gain insights into and that’s aligned with neuroscience, give me a follow.

11/03/2025

“We have all the charts.”
“Literally all the behavior charts.”
“They have a behavior chart at school and if he doesn’t get a 🌟, he can’t play Nintendo or have dessert.” 😳
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I didn’t realize blackmailing a 4yo was still a thing - not what I said to the family, but what I really wanted to say!
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No wonder you’re exhausted when you feel that you’ve exhausted all your options. At least the behavioral ones. Here is what I did say as actionable take home steps (while mom and dad took notes 😂 gotta love it):
1️⃣ switch from “why did you hit your friend” to “I wonder what happened” - takes the blame off the child and refocuses on the situation itself
2️⃣ “it’s hard to watch mommy play with your cousin and not with you” - anger hides jealousy
3️⃣ if he’s getting zeroes on tests (don’t even get me started on this one) that’s an adult problem and maybe we should take away their coffee ☕️
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For real regarding number 3, what we realized in 5 minutes was that his hypersensitive vestibular system couldn’t handle looking down at the paper. Both parents had major 🤯 moments!
Mom: omg that’s why when he stands and checks off his bedtime chart he enjoys writing
Dad: omg he still gets really car sick and I used to hate rollercoasters as a kid
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I love this family already! For more science-y and real word answers to your kid’s most challenging behaviors, give me a follow and help spread the word!

11/02/2025

You guys don’t see these messages but I get them on the down low ALL the time:
❓what do you think about PDA and anxiety
❓is it just a nervous system response
❓are we supposed to wait until he’s ready
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First of all, what kind of advice is “just wait until they’re ready” so you don’t take away their autonomy? And in the meantime, you’re losing opportunities - no not for exposures - for skill building. Specifically, visuospatial working memory (VSWM), which is one of the most complex components tied into impulse control and cognitive flexibility. What the heck does it mean though for your autistic or ADHD child?
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1️⃣ VSWM predicts how children regulate their behaviors 🤯
2️⃣ poor VSWM leads to cognitive overload 😲
3️⃣ when you can’t mentally hold spatial information or track a sequence of events, you panic 🫨
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And then comes the cycle of distrust because you can’t foresee yourself in the future, which means you breakdown in the present…stay with me…which sounds like:
❎ “I don’t want to!”
❎ “I can’t do it!”
❎ “You can’t make me!”
❎ “I’m not doing that!”
❎ “It’s my way!”
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Sound familiar? Yes, there is a nervous system component. How could there not be? We need to be in a regulated state to take in information. BUT that’s such a narrow lense. Because when you build those intricate VSWM skills (through play, of course), anxieties lessen and responses shift. Is the work hard? Yes! Is the road tough? Yes! Is waiting for these skills to appear the answer? Nope!
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For more “science-y” info on all things follow along!

11/01/2025

“Have something to learn, not something to prove.” and his brilliant quote.
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I’ve said it countless times and here I am saying it again. When you want so badly to prove yourself right, you will always prove the child wrong. That child will carry their wrongdoing with them until they slowly start to believe it.
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That’s why the countless conversations I have with parents of autistic and ADHD kids start with “behavioral concerns” and end with:
1️⃣ I want my child to believe in themselves
2️⃣ I want to know that I’m not failing them
3️⃣ I just want them to be happy
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Now, even though as a parent you’re not responsible for your child’s happiness, what you really want to see is that your autistic or ADHD child can
✅ take on challenges without throwing down
✅ work through emotional discomfort, and
✅ have meaningful relationships.
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What hits home for you? Share and send to a friend who also needs to hear this today!
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10/26/2025

You read that right! Whether you think the A in PDA stands for avoidance or autonomy, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have the full picture. Let’s go the autonomy route 👇🏻
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According to the well researched (yes, researched) self-determination theory, internal motivation comes from a framework. It has 3 parts: autonomy, relatedness, competence. Think ARC. Yes, autonomy has been drilled into you because your autistic or ADHD child needs to have a sense of choice. Um…but what about the other 2 parts?
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Relatedness is connection and feeling accepted. It comes with being supported, valued, and having a sense of belonging. This is the validation pillar. The “you’re right this idea is very hard to build.”
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Now enters competence. It’s something that I talk about ALL the time. And I mean ALL the time in relation to regulation and neuroception. It’s development of skills. Because when you have ownership of those skills you know that you can bring about change 🤯
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Put ARC together with a strength-based approach and you’ve got magic 🪄- well more like really hard work that looks like magic because your ND kid develops resilience and perseverance.
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If you believe change is possible, share this with someone who needs to hear it today!

10/25/2025

There’s a lot of buzz 🐝 around demand avoidance. Or the rebranded drive for autonomy. Of course, I get that autistic and ADHD kids have low capacity days. I have low capacity days. The difference is that when you only look at an idea or a term from a narrow lens, you will ONLY find what you expect to see. That goes for behaviors too.
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As you can see I’m deep in research mode for my next presentation. The 🐇 🕳️ is wide open and I’m falling! Pun intended because I just landed on a gold mine of information that my brain 🧠 integrated into a holly crap aha moment 💡.
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I’ve long explained to my clients the relationship between motor learning, executive function skills, play, and social engagement. I’ve taught it in seminars. I’ve lectured about it. And yet it’s only when you “see” it that you can truly get it. So here is what I dug up 👇🏻
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Gravitational insecurity! Poor vestibular responses from a sensory system that can’t quite integrate the incoming signals or modulate and adjust based on those signals. Leads to an autonomic nervous system response (usually the fight-flight) because the nervous system scanner - hello neuroception! - thinks there is threat when there is actually no threat 😳🤯😲. Leading to higher anxiety that becomes maladaptive and impacts all functioning (Matson et al., 2025). Come on! That’s genius!
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I’m going to sit with this one for a while and keep digging. Anyone else having an aha moment today?
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10/24/2025

Hard truths about behavior charts for Autistic and ADHD kids…they work until they don’t. Why? Because the struggle isn’t the behavior. Ever. It’s an underlying need that isn’t being met. Always.
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The other hard truth is that I tackle pushback with FBAs, BIPs, ABAs - pick another 3 letter agency 🤣 - everyday. And it’s serving no one. Especially not neurodivergent kids. If you’re tired of it all, I got you covered! I have a special newsletter set to send this Sunday. To get it straight to your inbox 📥 sign up at the link in my bio! Oh and join me at the School Support That Sticks Summit where we tackle these truths and more.
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10/22/2025

I really do wish more people knew that a feeding relationship is sacred. Instead of just continuing to wish for knowledge, I did something about it! I recorded a 7 hour webinar 🤪 and poured my heart ❤️ and brain 🧠 into it.
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It is in the hands of the editing team at and I can’t wait for the final version. And guess what? There’s more to come! Get updates and freebies delivered straight to your inbox 📥 by signing up to my newsletter. Link 🔗 in bio labeled “resources.”
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Oh and for you and there are CEUs included too 😉.

(but not really) (not quite)

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