WMW International

02/20/2026

This week we talked about expression.

Not shrinking.
Not overpowering.
Not projecting 60% of our own stuff into a room and calling it clarity.

Just proportion.

Here’s what I’ve noticed:

When I communicate from imbalance, I leave conversations replaying them in my head.

What I should have said.
What I shouldn’t have said.
Why I said so much.
Why I didn’t say enough.

But when I’m in balance?

I leave clean.

No mental spin.
No body tension.
No second-guessing.

That’s the difference between performance and presence.

The 70/20/10 Rule of Expression isn’t about controlling your voice.
It’s about calibrating your responsibility inside the room.

70% — serve the conversation
20% — offer context
10% — own your projections

That’s it.

Simple structure.
Massive shift.

If this week made you aware of a pattern — shrink or overpower — don’t fix it.

Just notice it.

Awareness is already recalibration.

And if this is showing up not just in personal conversations but inside your leadership…

That’s where deeper structure matters.

🧠 For leaders navigating growth, tension, or misalignment — the Leadership Audit™ maps communication strain at the structural level.

🪑 For individuals wanting a live mirror without performance — The Open Table exists for that.

Or you can simply sit with this question over the weekend:

Where do I feel most myself in conversation?

That’s your baseline.

Everything else is just refinement.

02/19/2026

One of the things I pay close attention to when curating our Sass, Cash & Class International Conference is this:

Are we building a room where women feel they have to shrink?
Or a room where they feel they have to overpower to be heard?

Neither is leadership.

Real leadership expression is proportionate.

At our Sass, Cash & Class International Conference:

70% of the room is intentional, thoughtful contribution
20% is shared story and lived experience
10% is boldness — but not performance

Our presenters don’t dominate.
They don’t posture.
They don’t perform confidence.

They inhabit it.

And when that happens, something shifts.

Panels become dialogue.
Sponsors become collaborators.
Masterminds become real strategy spaces — not ego displays.

That’s not accidental.

That’s design.

If you’ve ever left a conference thinking,
“I learned a lot… but nothing moved,”

you already know the difference between information and aligned expression.

This room is built differently.

Conference link: https://shetalksdenver.leadandempowerher.com/

02/18/2026

There’s a specific feeling I’ve learned to watch for in conversations:

When I leave the room and think,
“I said a lot… but did I actually move anything forward?”

Most conflict isn’t about what was said. It’s about what was felt underneath it.

That’s usually a sign I slipped into one of two patterns:

Overpowering: I’m filling space because I feel responsible for the outcome.
Shrinking: I’m holding back because I don’t trust how I’ll be received.

Both are forms of protection.
Neither is true expression.

So here’s a clean midweek check-in from the 70/20/10 Rule of Expression:

70% should serve the conversation.
20% can deepen understanding through context.
10% is my projection, assumptions, and emotional overlay.

When I’m in balance, I’m present.
When I’m out of balance, I’m performing.

Reflection question (for you, not for the internet):
In your last important conversation… where did you feel your body shift?

tight chest = bracing

fast talking = urgency

silence = self-protection

over-explaining = trying to be understood

No shame. Just information.

If this is a pattern you’re noticing in your relationships or leadership right now, you don’t need a full reinvention. Sometimes you just need a clean mirror and a better structure for how you speak and listen.

There are different levels of that mirror.

🪑 The Open Table — conversation without performance
(Next session: Wednesday, Feb 18th @ 3pm MT)
Sign up ://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/NcBuEXLM03GvwoBi9zq

🧠 Private clarity sessions — communication calibration + next-step strategy

🏢 The Leadership Audit™ — for teams and organizations where these same patterns are showing up system-wide.
Because when overpowering and shrinking scale across a leadership team, it becomes structural strain — not just communication friction.

Same principle.
Different altitude.

𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁, 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗯𝗲𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗳𝗮𝘂𝗹𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗻: 𝘀𝗵𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗸 𝗼𝗿 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿.
O𝗿 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘆𝗼𝘂.

02/17/2026

I used to think being “direct” was a strength.

But in the business world, I kept hearing the same thing:
“You’re too abrasive.”

And the truth was… I was.

I got results.
I didn’t build relationships.

Because I wasn’t communicating with people.
I was communicating at them.

Then I applied the 70/20/10 rule to my expression.

70% should serve the conversation.
20% can add context and deepen understanding.
10% is my projection, max.

When my projection ran the room, I overpowered.
When I tried to remove myself entirely, I shrank.

But when expression is proportioned, conversations stabilize.
Trust builds.
Resolution becomes possible.

Reflection:
In your last hard conversation… did you create value?
Or just volume?

02/16/2026

2 weeks ago, I shared the 70/20/10 #1 Rule of Discernment.

How much of what someone says is:

70% their own context

20% shared experience

10% actually yours

It was a powerful filter.

This week we turn the same lens inward.

I had an uncomfortable realization:

“I realized I was blaming people for projecting… while doing the same thing.”

Not loudly.
Not maliciously.
But subtly.

Once I learned to discern what I was receiving,
I had to learn to discern what I was expressing.

And here’s what I saw:

I wasn’t actively listening.
I was waiting to speak.
I was thinking about what to say next.
I was verbally vomiting instead of participating.

Layering in my history instead of fully participating in the moment.

I wasn’t owning my responsibility in the conversation.

And without value in a conversation,
what is the relationship actually building toward?

So I applied the same structure to my expression.

The 70/20/10 Rule of Expression

70% — Intentional, thoughtful communication that directly serves the conversation.
20% — Shared stories and context that deepen understanding.
10% — My projections. My assumptions. My overlays.

Projection isn’t wrong.

But it needs proportion.

When 10% becomes 40%, we dominate.
When we erase ourselves entirely, we disappear.

But when expression is balanced, conversations stabilize.
Resolution becomes possible.
Trust builds quietly.

An invitation to reflect this week:

In your last important conversation…
were you listening to understand —
or listening to respond?

No judgment.

Just proportion.

02/15/2026

02/13/2026

If you’re exploring this right now —
how you speak to yourself
how decisions feel heavier than they used to
how your inner voice sounds more urgent than supportive

there’s nothing wrong with you.

Often, what’s happening isn’t a mindset issue.
It’s a proportion issue.

Too much self-critique.
Not enough forward thinking.
No neutral space to sort what’s actually yours to carry.

That’s why I teach the 70/20/10 Rule of Inner Dialogue.

Not to eliminate negative thoughts —
but to contain them, so they don’t dominate the room.

If this question keeps resurfacing for you:
“How do I lead myself more cleanly from here?”

It may be time for conversation, not correction.

That’s exactly why spaces like The Open Table exist —
low-pressure, thoughtful environments to reflect, recalibrate, and hear yourself think again.

No fixing.
No forcing.
Just honest dialogue and grounded next steps.

Sometimes clarity doesn’t come from pushing forward.
It comes from sitting down and sorting what’s already present.

If this resonates, you’re already in the right place to explore what’s next.

Check out The Open Table here: https://api.leadconnectorhq.com/widget/form/NcBYuEXLM03GvwoBi9zq

02/12/2026

One of the biggest shifts in my own leadership didn’t come from better strategy.
It came from changing the tone of my inner dialogue.

Pressure didn’t make me clearer.
Regulation did.

That’s why I’m so intentional about who I bring into the room.

At Sass, Cash, and Class,
Antoinette Engelke brings over 25 years of experience helping women regulate stress, restore resilience, and lead without burning out their bodies.

Because inner dialogue isn’t just mental.
It’s physiological.

When the nervous system is supported:

self-talk softens

decisions get cleaner

leadership becomes sustainable

Calm isn’t a personality trait.
It’s a strategy.

And it’s a foundation for inner authority.

This is how the room gets built — from the inside out, starting with how we speak to ourselves.

🔗 Learn more about Antoinette & the conference experience here:
https://shetalksdenver.leadandempowerher.com/

02/11/2026

If your inner critic is loud, don’t fight it. Contain it.

When I started listening to my inner dialogue, I heard things like:
“You idiot.” “Wrong turn.” “I know better.”

I wasn’t “motivating” myself.
I was sentencing myself.

So I started with minute steps: one word at a time.

𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝟱 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳-𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝟳𝟬/𝟮𝟬/𝟭𝟬 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲:

Remove name-calling first.
No “idiot.” No self-labels. Just stop feeding that loop.

Swap punishment for agreement.
Instead of “Don’t do that,” try:
“Okay. Let’s not repeat that.”

Use gratitude as a circuit breaker.
“Good. It didn’t break.”
Gratitude interrupts spirals.

Turn ‘shoulda’ into strategy.
“Next time I will…”
or
“How can I do that differently next time?”

Give the devil’s advocate a time limit.
Ask: “What’s the risk here?”
Then close it: “Noted. Now what’s the next best step?”

Your inner voice can be honest without being hostile.

02/10/2026

When I first applied the 70/20/10 Rule to my inner dialogue, I didn’t try to eliminate negative thoughts.

I did something counterintuitive:
I contained them.

My self-thinking goal became:

70% forward, constructive thinking

20% neutral processing

10% negative — on purpose

That 10% isn’t self-attack.
It’s my devil’s advocate.

It asks:
“What’s the risk?”
“What am I missing?”
“Is this aligned?”

Then it stops.

Why?
Because leadership requires due diligence — not domination by doubt.

When negative thinking stays in its lane, it sharpens clarity.
When it overruns the system, it erodes trust — internally and externally.

This is how I stopped fighting my mind
and started organizing it.

That’s self-leadership.
That’s internal residency.

If this resonates, you’re already practicing discernment —
you’re just refining the ratios.

02/09/2026

Your inner voice is a room. Who’s running it?

Most people try to “fix” their mindset by forcing positivity.
I tried that too. It didn’t work.

So I gave myself a framework:

70% forward, constructive thinking
20% neutral processing (tasks, planning, observing)
10% negative on purpose (my devil’s advocate)

Because here’s the truth:
A little oppositional thinking isn’t the enemy.
Uncontained, repetitive self-attack is.

That 10% is where I do due diligence.
It keeps me humble.
It pressure-tests decisions.
It helps me choose with integrity.

But the 70% is my home base.
That’s the internal residence I’m building.

𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗲𝘁 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆:
What percentage of your inner voice is building you… and what percentage is tearing you down?