Mark O'Connell, Psychotherapist

03/11/2026

Children and families in my community, and all across our country, are being targeted with hatred. Please share this wonderful resource in NYC with anyone who might find it helpful. It is run by my friend, neighbor, and colleague Joanna McClintick, LCSW.

*

Parents and caregivers of transgender and gender nonconforming (TGNC) teens are navigating complex medical decisions, evolving language around names and pronouns, and difficult conversations with extended family often without clear guidance or safe spaces to process.

That’s why support at matters now more than ever. Feel free to join the Parenting Beyond the Binary, an 8-week virtual support group for caregivers of TGNC youth.

This group offers:
• A compassionate, affirming space to better understand and support your child’s developing gender identity
• Guidance on navigating medical choices
• Community with other families on similar journeys
• Support for birth, foster, and chosen caregivers alike

No caregiver should have to navigate this moment alone.
🗓 8 Weeks | Ongoing
🕠 5:30–7 PM | Virtual

📩 To express interest: foreverfamilies@gaycenter.org

If you know a parent or caregiver who could benefit, please share this post or reach out directly.

Community care is powerful especially now.

Register here: https://www.tfaforms.com/5032202?&tf

03/07/2026

"If I Had Legs I'd Kick You"!!!!

My new article on Rose Byrne's provocative, Oscar-nominated turn is up on Psychology Today

I used this opportunity to discuss relational bids for Recognition and/or for Regulation--in therapy and in life. Weaving in the brilliant voices of psychologists Beatrice Beebe and Mona Delahooke

I was deeply impacted by this movie, as a therapist and a parent. And, if you saw it, I'm curious what your thoughts are too.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/quite-q***rly/202603/recognition-vs-regulation-in-therapy-and-in-life

Rose Byrne's Oscar-nominated turn in 'If I Had Legs I'd Kick You' brilliantly shows us how necessary both recognition and regulation are in our relationships.

03/06/2026

Boundaries are not Exile.

They are an invitation for relationship and belonging.

Don’t let anyone’s fear of exile mess with your boundaries.

Especially your own.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DVjLYRTAHHI/?igsh=MXNhMm94NGMzOGg5NA==

02/25/2026

My great-grandmother came to America with hope.

Today we need that same empathy — for her story, for others’ stories, and for what freedom truly means.

I wrote about her immigration journey in 2017 in my Psychology Today column Quite Queerly. It’s called Immigration and the Benefits of Other-Regarding Actions — and it feels just as relevant today. Every day.

You can read the article at the link below.

Immigration and the Benefits of Other-Regarding Actions | Psychology Today

https://www.instagram.com/p/DVMM1F_kZC-/?igsh=aDFuOHp1czZubWxi

02/14/2026

Valentine’s Day reminder: your relationships don’t improve because you become someone else — they improve when you show up as you ARE…

and invite the other person to do the same.

No matter what kind of relationship you want to work on—friendship, romantic, family, work—make sure you can:

See each other.

Hear each other.

Set boundaries.

Recognize and acknowledge one another.

Listen deeply.

And find a creative way to expand in one another’s attention.

I’ve put together a free bundle of my relationship articles from — practical, research-grounded tools you can use right away.

Link to Articles: https://linktr.ee/RelationshipArticles?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DUvgCNWAMDM/?igsh=MXAxam8xMGxiYjZ3MA==

�Happy ❤️

02/08/2026

I can’t think of a better time to repost this article I wrote for Psychology Today in 2017 about what we can learn about relationships from the Obamas.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/quite-q***rly/201702/three-relationship-tips-courtesy-of-the-obamas/amp

The exemplary relationship practices the Obamas shared with each other and the world, is a rare and valuable form of leadership that we benefitted from on a daily basis.

01/15/2026

Here’s what I’m NOT gonna do:
I’m not going to tell you the Top Three Things You Should Do in the New Year.

https://youtu.be/xyCTWwOua7g?si=HVaZVpe4AvmHuDAt

What I am going to ask is this:
What are you NOT gonna do in 2026?
What boundaries will help you show up in your life, your relationships, and your work?

I think of boundaries as a beginning, not an ending.
Not just about what I don’t want—but about the relationship I do want to have with myself and with others.

Here’s a simple one to try:
When you wake up in the morning… don’t pick up your phone.

Not for the email.
Not for the text.
Not for anything demanding your attention before you've even taken a breath.

Instead—pause.
Take a breath.
Feel your body.
Ask yourself: Where am I right now?

That’s a boundary.
And it’s not about the phone—it’s about what becomes possible when you put it down.

Starting the day with a boundary isn’t shutting the world out.
It’s giving yourself what you need to stay in the scene.

I wrote an article on this for Psychology Today, and I’m offering workshops this year focused on boundaries and maximizing our use of self.

Happy New Year.
Claim your boundaries—and set yourself free.

Based on my article on my Psychology Today blog: Quite QueerlyLink to article: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/quite-q***rly/202601/boundaries-and-kn...

11/18/2025

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/quite-q***rly/202511/ai-is-the-new-blank-screen

Artificial intelligence (AI) feels like the perfect listener, but therapy shows us why real relationships require tolerating limits. To use AI wisely, we must balance fantasy with reality.

03/05/2025

Resources for people who are trans or nonbinary and their families (including support networks, advocacy, and research)!
https://linktr.ee/MarkOTherapy_TransResources
Please share with anyone you think can use this information right now. (Including anyone who is promoting false and destructive information about trans, nonbinary, and/ or anyone who is q***r and/ or non heteronormative.)
The song “Safe With Me” is written and performed by the one and only musical gem She wrote it with the express purpose to share her love, support, and solidarity with LGBTQ+ people right now (and always).🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜🤎🖤

11/19/2024

Interview about The Performing Art of Therapy at the Stanislavsky & Psychology Symposium, by the awesome Benjamin Askew, hosted by the Stanislavsky Research Centre.
I went ahead and declared that Stanislavsky's concept of objectives is not only useful in the scene work of acting or therapy, or of all human relationships for that matter. But that it could in fact save America, if not the WORLD.
https://youtu.be/FGM04O6m-ps?si=PoF_5HLcbL1gVJLr

11/19/2024

Interview about The Performing Art of Therapy at the Stanislavsky & Psychology Symposium, by the awesome Benjamin Askew, hosted by the Stanislavsky Research Centre.

I went ahead and declared that Stanislavsky's concept of objectives is not only useful in the scene work of acting or therapy, or of all human relationships for that matter. But that it could in fact save America, if not the WORLD.

https://youtu.be/FGM04O6m-ps?si=PoF_5HLcbL1gVJLr

10/21/2024

Nonverbal communication is MOST of what takes place in the therapy room and yet it’s the LEAST discussed or written about topic in the field psychotherapy. 🤷🏻

THIS is why I teach workshops for therapists on preparing and using our most essential “instruments” for therapeutic engagement: our selves.

And I emphasize our use of subtext: the nonverbal messages we send with our minds, bodies, emotions, histories, judgements, curiosities, and imaginations, whether we realize it or not. Even, and especially when we’re just listening.

Next up: Embodying Your Unique Voice in the Therapy Room for Alma A two part workshop that will include inspiring examples of how we’re all up to the same thing no matter what “kind” of therapist we are (whether we practice CBT, DBT, EFT, LMNNOP, QRS, IFS, EMDR, or Psychoanalysis…), exercises to help us be as AWARE and INTENTIONAL with our instruments as possible, and case discussions—Yours and Mine.

Let’s acknowledge what we ACTUALLY do in the “scene work” of therapy. And have some fun.

*Special shoutout to Beatrice Beebe who has been calling for more research, classes, workshops, and discussions on nonverbal communication in the therapy room for YEARS!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtAZENairkY